2005, Looking back..

was reading athena's blog and realised i have to do this..

the many moments..ups and downs..

at this same time of the year last year, i was thrilled on what i was going to face the following year.. new school, new frens, new environement.. i had made a decision that i felt was right at that time.. acjc.. i was so used to the st.marg's way of life that i wanted something different..something that would bring me somewhere great.. while many of those i noe were going to sa or other jcs, the ACS brand was so appealing to me.. and so there i was, in a whole new culture.. it wasn't easy.. it took time to actually come to terms with the new environment.. and it wasn't any easier with more than half of them coming through affiliations.. there were already many cliques formed even before school started.. but i guess i survived.. my own group of frens..just enjoying the 3 mths before it was all over.. studieswise, there wasn't much of an impression..i din enjoy most of the lessons..

then came the big decision to make, stay in acj or go somewhere else.. many of my frens who got my pts were trying for wat they felt were "better jcs".. 3 mths had been alrite.. i din feel like going through wat i had during first 3 mths over again-the awkward position to make new frens.. i terribly missed my babes and prav..good thing at least ed was there with me.. athena almost made it(a tinge of dissappointment when she din).. and besdies, most of my frens were leaving the school.. thank god, for seeing jp's name and bev's in the class list.. at least, i'll be starting with some that i noe..

throughout my life there, there were many opportunities i failed to grab.. with no support from my parents, i couldn't get into the cca of my choice.. though i gave a lot of thoughts to it, i din even try for council(even with all the support from my frens..even ET!)..well, i doubted my ability to lead..there seemed to be nothing i had left..except to get on with my studies.. i did well..better than i expected.. but there was always that same emptiness lingering in my heart.. NP kept me busy at times.. other than that, there seemed to be no purpose in my life..

i rarely had time for my babes...felt bad so many times..esp when i was the one who had to cancel a date becuz of sch stuff.. and they are one of those few i could trust..and really be myself.. THREESOME FOREVER!! LOVE YOU GUYS!! and i feel like i neglected prav..haven't been a very good fren..sorry prav! i really still care!! there was so much pretence around other ppl for fear of hurting them..and getting into their bad books..at times, i felt like a hypocrite..crying at nite..

but i guess everything that happened to me, all the troubles and difficulties.. i see myself a stronger person..less superficial.. more matured.. having been in acj has made me see reality and just how big the world is..evrything happens for a reason..and i suppose one day, i might be able to understand the true meaning of everything i'm experiencing..the true meaning of life..

anyway, to all u guys out there! ENJOY THIS LAST DAY OF 2005 and hopefully, next year will be an even better one!=)

had training just now..haha..pretty slack..OGL meeting in the morning and we were trying to finish up all four songs..YES! four not two!! my legs are super tired now..like jelly.. gee.. still need to go practise..

ahh..the hols are finishing in a couple of days..too fast..TOO FAST!! haiz..very stressful.. and i wonder who i should borrow hmwk from..hmmzz..

went out yest with ma'am mei moey, leong woon and ying yuan.. well, was sorta supposed to go for the 4/6 gathering, but stupid lw booked me first..anyway, can't say it'll really be a class gathering.. i prognosticate(courtesy of 1000 words vocab book) that less than half will come..i mean, ttz wat always happens..

anyway, went sakae first..at suntec..mm was very hungry i suppose and i sort of delayed everyone cuz i came late.. no matter how many times i take a bus to city hall, i never seem to remember where i'm supposed to get down.. so i happily got down at the stop before(well, all looked the same to me) and walked as if i was going to the right place..what an idiot i am!! it took me 1km of walk to realise that i was at the wrong place.. i think i was near bencoolen street..or prinsep link..0r..nafa??oh watever.. and wat luck..started raining the next moment..so had to run back all the way and take another bus.. yup, getting back to lunch, we just ate and ate and ate.. bloody hell..damn full after that.. rather interesting cuz mm and i kept bullying lw..(well, he deserves every bit of it!)and yy was refusing to eat anything with veggie or the fish eggs.. haha..better start dieting..i'm getting fat!*worried for napfa!=(

walked around after that cuz narnia was starting a bit late.. being the kid that lw is(even though he thinks '88 ppl are kiddies), we went to toys-r-us for a while..



floating noodles!! edible?? apparently, their for kids to play with in pools..wierd..

is this the kind of "toys" kids nowadays play with?!!
fascinated!!(due to a deprived childhood)


who in the hell looks at globes in a toys shop!!!


taken with much difficulty



mm and the invisible board!(sounds like some movie title..) as they always say:once a coconut,always a coconut

the pink panther thing totally doesn't make sense!

okay, yes..half of what we did was crap.. and well, well.. abt the movie.. IT TOTALLY SUCKED!! i slept 10 times through the movie and there seemed to be nothing very interesting.. if you have read the book, dun expect the movie to be the same..the plot is rather similar but everything else was dissappointing.. and i thought it was a bit too long..and like the reviews said, its more for kids..

but again, lw and yy din have such strong comments..so u might still consider watching..

feeling kinda burdened right now... had quite a few jobs to do.. and it ain't as easy as i expected.. NP training's gonna start again.. and the shelter is really not comin on well.. i mean, i feel like an amateur since i myself haven't build shelters and stuff before in my NPCC career..(well, professionally at least) i'm feeling the weight of all the responsibilities ppl have entrusted me with..and i need to prove it to them.. and to everyone who thinks i'm not fit to do wat i'm doing..

sometimes i think maybe its karma.. i was a bit of a rebel myself during my days..so it isn't that hard to think why my juniors would act the same way with me..(or maybe worst) i don't know.. jam athena and i were bonded in that way at least.. like bitching together and swearing at particular individuals.. so, suddenly u feel that the same things happening..all over again! and ttz when u really learn to appreciate your seniors..

and now, with things besides NP itself, i have to seriously get my priorities right.. OGL meeting's gonna clash with training..have to get the design done before training starts.. orientation planning..it all has to be perfect.. and i feel so alone when doing all these stuff.. i noe, there are ppl(seniors, frens) around to help.. but this is like a chance to prove myself..and i have to do it! so here i am lamenting and hoping to see the light..

i am soo angry with blogger right now. first, they changed the whole bloody website to chinese! now, they did some shit and my whole long entry is GONE!! i'm am in despair!! weeps* I AM GOING TO SUE BLOGGER FOR ALL THE MISERY THAT THEY HAVE GIVEN ME!!

weeps* okok, shall try to control myself=(..as you may have seen, i've changed the layout..yes, pink and pink and pink! i am absoultely satisfied.. its really pink madness..took quite some time to find it and make the changes.. but guess, its okay now.. spent an even longer time trying to get the tagboard done.. i'm trying out a new one..c-box or something like that..i'm sure many of you alreday have it..but u noe how it-savvy i am rite, so pardon me for my ignorance for such enhancements. so, all you guys out there, remember to fill it up okay..

was looking at the last entry.. 28th November 2005. what the heck have i been doing for 18 straight days without blogging. oh gosh, i had abandoned my blog for so long!! "sorry blog, i'll try to take better care of you from now on!(hopefully)" well then again, i wasn't exactly free all these time..

had to go for some totally boring malaysia trip with my extended family..i seriously dun get the point why my mum still forces me to go fo something that i'm totally not interested.. its just a damn waste of money..precious money since i'm broke right now. and then there was OGL camp right after that..from monday to thursday.. but since i'm so bloody misfortunate, i ended up spraining my ankle on the second day..wtf! my mum was so freakin pissed.. i kinda understand since it was the eighth time i sprained the same part of my ankle in 5 years.. not funny at all.. so, couldn't go for OGL camp on thurs as my ankle suddenly had bruises..dun ask me how come.. got 2 weeks excuse.. and the doctor was like" you better not go play games or dance for the next two weeks! or you'll have to pay me another visit!" wat the hell! isn't that wat OGL camp mainly consist of?? games and dance?? its as good as telling me to go there and shake leg for the whole day!!

apart from that, i guess the camp was alrite.. the mass dance is good, just that i can't get 90% of Pon de replay.. i am so dead! my lossehelin's(hope i spelled it right) name is Kyofu..supposed to mean horror..so we get to wear scary stuff for march in..i think i'll be doing the zombie.. ha..its rather fun.. making the j1s shriek on their first day of school..evil grinz* and the og name is scream..as in the movie scream..yup, kinda changed the storyline to something very lame..so if you wanna noe more, come ask me!

watched the last episode of rainbow connections just now.. the ending wasn't really the way i hoped for it to be.. but oh well, its not too bad.. so yes, i'm super glad that jianyi din go wif yoyo.. the ockoto(what a wierd name!) competition was bullshit.. xiaoqian and david were way much better than the skilless dance of yoyo.. she is such a snob! wait a minute..snob isn't a strong enough word. yoyo is a selfish, mean, evil-loving bitch with a fucking attitude problem!! she can't even dance well..still can give that kind of a look! and good thing jianyi wasn't dump eough to go after the stupid bitch!

on a lighter note, i think xiaoqian's quite pretty.. for a chinese girl..(i think zhang ziyi, vivian hsu, jolin tsai etc. are not at all pretty..so when i say she's pretty, she's pretty!)as in she looks like a beautiful chinese girl..as in from china..not singapore.. i'm not so sure if everybody would agree, but if she was from China, i would recommend her for Miss China Universe/World..

also, just got the news that liverpool are drawn with sl benfica, their the portugese champions anyway.. i think liverpool's got a pretty easy team, so they must win. not draw but win!! chelsea got drawn agains't barca.. omehow, i want chelsea to win cuz i think barca is pretty strong and liverpool might have a hard time beating them later on.. so hopefully, some magic is added to crouch's feet to get him to score..seriously, he's record sheet is pathetic and he's got to do better..he's starting to score and that's a good thing..but no! not enough for the european champions! they need a champion striker!!hopefully, crouch can see the light!!

hopefully, this entry doesn't get screwed up like the other one..