The Dance Floor is finally over. despite the supposedly poor viewer ratings, i thought it was almost excellent. the final five were marvellous. show wins hands down compared to other reality shows like singapore idol or superstar. congrats to vas and pris! they were really sweet to watch. they have the likeability factor and they really amaze the audience with their waltz and tango, doing wat they do as just 17 and 18 yr olds. yes, no kiddings.

auditions

the magic waltz

final

i just had an issue with the votings i guess. somehow, such competitions which allow voting often becomes a popularity contest. singaporeans aren't really ready for it yet. just look at american idol. would you expect the same people who remain to be at the top 6 if the show was held in singapore? i truly doubt so.

give credit when it is due.

on a side note, jade is a bad presenter! her dress (the black tube which had some fragments of a wedding gown stuck to the bottom) was awful.

there seems to be just one thing on my mind these days. uni application. i've probably bored everyone with it but i really can't get over it. especially since its going to decide my whole future. given the fact that i got my ntu letter, everyone thinks i should just shut up and be happy. and i believe there will be those who will be swearing if they found out i managed to do what they couldn't with their 3/4 As. that part is still a mystery to me. but why should i complain anyway? and i dun think i'll be going for tmr's high tea. wasn't too interested and i have to teach tuition anyway. so i'm still hoping smu accepts my application. ppl keep asking me why smu? i feel i'll be happier in smu, where i feel i'll get more opportunities and flexibilty. i guess its just a decision i'm making with my heart. i dun know whether it'll be the right one but it looks like the right place for me at the moment. i can't stand the wait.


some new job at cpf. thanks to piggy.=) the pays not fantastic but its like 2km from my house. so, why not huh? starts i think early may or something like that. so i guess i should just start spending my break more meaningfully. haha, meaning i need to stop sleeping 12 hours a day and spending all my time on the net. i've been trying to gym more frequently nowadays. like two days once. i think its getting better. cross country dist (3.2km) in under 20 mins isn't too bad i think. i'm targetting 5km in 45 min. i think i want to do sports in uni. at least it'll keep be trim. i need to lose all my flab before going to uni. at least then, ppl wun come asking me why i've lost weight.

was standing in the bus yesterday. bus was pretty crowded and i was just looking around casually. then, this indian women(who was with her son), was staring at me, like i was some vixen, out to seduce a little boy. she was seriously trying to gun me down with her look. i was just getting very pissed off. why the hell would i fuckin want to touch her son. for one, he's indian. well, i mean india-born indian. no offence to anyone. and secondly, he looks younger then me. what the hell was her problem? its the kind of look that reads "you-are-out-of-my-son's-league. so fuck off!" wtf.

anyway, my mum just threw at me the nus package that came in the mail. its big and bulky. business administration, as expected. but, i guess its just thrash to me now. *not intended to sound proud or anything. SMU, CAN YOU HEAR ME CALLING OUT ???

got another letter from ntu inviting for some hi-tea. seriously, i do not know a single person who is going to do accountancy there. yea, i noe my social life hasn't been all too great. so, i'm still looking for that someone to go with.

the annoying part, it wrote" you are one of our top candidates who have been offered a place in ntu.."- dude, i barely made it. i noe. what the hell is your problem.

so, anybody going to ntu this sunday???

decided i needed a change from the flower layout.. seemed too nice-unlike me. i've been trying like hell to get the posts come out left aligned, but with my amateur html skills, it's just been another attempt in vain. bored shit at home. but trust me, i'm in no hurry to go to work. maybe i shouldn't.. ha, i'll just wait and see.

acceptance letter for ntu accountancy came today morning.

is that good news?

went for the last parade of the term. its was in some way a really solemn affair personally. not like i cried or anything but it felt like i was leaving behind something that had once been a great part of me. a place where i learnt, taught, discovered.

somehow, the passion's dying. i can't deny that. years of trying to make an impact, hoping that the cadets will learn to love the unit as much as we once did.. that they see why we resort to scolding/punishing.. but i'm lost for words. did i really change anything? was i just one of those CIs who were there to demand and not earn the respect of the cadets? truth is, i have no answers.

all i can say is, i tried my best.

pretty satisfied with myself right now. interview went way better than i thought. was one to one, actually a professor and a student to me. no funny wierd quesions. just seemed like a normal conversation i would have with anyone. they looked pleased.so, i'm just keeping my fingers crossed. hee..

the fact that i'm happy makes me wanna indulge more. spent 100 buckes on some new apparels. damn, if only there were some promotions around this time.

happy=)

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

today was last day of work. seems they dun require my services anymore. ha, bet they dun. esp since i do more work than some of them. well, i'm not sad or anything. a little pissed that it was such short notice but still not sad at all. maybe its time for a break. go gym more and shop even more.

i forgot to mention earlier. got shortlisted for smu sch of acct interview. this coming thursday. i'm trying not to freak. this is my one chance. screwing it is not an option. i haven't failed in an interview yet. Oh Lord, let this not be the first!

been busy trying to study everything related to acct. i'm even reading business times. it looked totally greek at first but after looking at it each day, it kinda makes a little more sense. araggh!! need to study!!

it makes me wonder sometimes. how some people can be so simple. in the way they think, the way they connect with others, the way they lead their lifes, while others continue to be in their endless pursuit for power, wealth and glory. and in the course of it, sometimes backstab, lie and bitch. having friends from both sides, i find myself always standing closer to the second kind. maybe its the fact that i am in a way materialistic and superficial myself, albeit i've never been proud of it. now, i don't want anyone to think i'm a super-evil, thrash talking mean shit. if you've read my postings in the past, i believe you know that i've been making a conscious effort to change. and i think i've changed 10% of myself. might not seem like a lot, but its been real hard. so, when i see those simple-minded people, i just can't comprehend their behaviour. it seems so unnatural to me even though they seem majorly comfortable being who they are. so, i asked one of them about it. and the answer i got,

"dunno. i never thought i was simple-minded wat."

wtf.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GATHER FROM THAT!!! how the hell would someone not know that he or she is so straightforward and undemanding! they act as if its an inborn nature to not decieve and complicate things. and maybe that i am the one with such a sinful nature. i noe every man is a sinner. but it makes me look like i sinned way too much to ever get redemption.

still trying

another week of boring work.. so bored that i'm bringing books and magazines to read. well, as long as i'm not ill-treated or unpaid, i'll be fine.

took the sec 2s for third class yesterday. some with potential..mostly bland.. had expected better from them.. i guess maybe its the thing about test and stuff.. you just get nervous and break down! haiz, i've done wat i can.

had to rush back home for my cousin's ROM. well, i have to admit, did a lil bit of dolling up.. ha.. luckily my sis din call me a drag this time round. but it was like going out dressed nicely after like so many months.. after prom actually. so i couldn't resist putting in that extra effort, and not to forget, the cash..

i like my hair. a little bitchy i guess.

but too bad. i still think i'm pretty in that. And to all of you who think i am vain and ugly, fuck off.

anyways, i got paid for tuition today. yipeee!! got my new gym bag and bought another apparel.. i need to stop splurging!!!


as another week approaches, i'm dreading having to see those bad-mouthing, two-faced hypocrites. sianz.