i'm so upset with the latest season of desperate housewives. i'm not going to spoil it for anyone but i was hoping mike didn't marry her.

If I had a dime

For every single time

These boys stop and stare

I'll be a billionaire!

This is like one of the best rhyming lyrics of all time. and its totally stuck in my head.

being vegetarian is quite awesome. i suppose its been rather hard because of the lack of anything vege in jurong point and the fact that can B vege stall is getting quite horrible. ended up cooking pasta with tomato sauce. and i've to probably survive on that for a while. i miss mooncakes though. i mean the snow skin kind.. and come to think of it, i don't think they have eggs in those.. should check it out. so why do i say its awesome? because i'm guilt-free. =)

This mode of nothingness needs to stop. If I can be this boring when i'm in school, I cannot imagine what might happen when I start working. There's very little to do this semester. I mean, I could pick up my books if I wanted to but other than that, I find myself having nothing to do. I return straight home, watch my Korean dramas and try to keep myself occupied till I get sleepy. It's my last year and there's no excitement at all. I don't feel happy or sad or angry about anything. I'm just going through the process hoping that something, anything might happen.

Gym's not making me happy as well. I've always believed in looking good for myself but now, I stare at the mirror and I feel sick. Not seeing my family or my aunt makes it worst. I used to think that living home alone would be awesome because I get to do anything. To tell the truth, it was great for a few weeks but after that, you feel like it's only you. I told my mum that I wanted to buy a studio apartment and move out as soon as I can afford it. Obviously my mum blew her top and said I won't be leaving the house until I get married. Seeing that the probability of the time taken for me to afford my own house might be higher the time I take to get married, I'm even more determined to fight for my own crib. But now, I think I see the bad side of it and maybe I need to figure something out.

My friends are great. But time changes things and when you travel a different journey from your friend, the mechanics of your relationship does change. I don't feel as close to my st.marg's friends anymore. Maybe to a certain extent, it could be because I haven't taken that much effort to see them. Till today, I think that I had one of my best times in st.marg's. It wasn't classy like AC or reputable like NBS but I was somehow at ease. I wasn't cool, I didn't look pretty, I wasn't the smartest. But I had awesome friends. I still keep in touch with my AC friends but I can see that things are going to change. And now, everyone seems to have a boyfriend or girlfriend and that somehow makes that person the most important. I'm not sour grapes or anything. Honestly I'm very very happy for them. But in some way, a little jealous. So many friends not in Singapore and its really sucking.

I hope things change. I really hope there's more.

You would not believe your eyes,
If ten million fireflies.
Lit up the world as I fell asleep.
'Cause they fill the open air,
And leave teardrops everywhere.
You think me rude,
But I would just stand and stare.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That Planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems.

'Cause I get a thousand hugs,
From ten thousand lightening bugs.
As they try to teach me how to dance,
A foxtrot above my head,
A sockhop beneath my bed.
The disco ball is just hanging by a thread.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That Planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems when I fall asleep.

Leave my door open just a crack (please take me away from here),
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac (please take me away from here).
Why do I tire of counting sheep? (please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep.

To ten million fireflies,
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes.
I got misty eyes as they said farewell,
But I know where several are.
If my dreams get real bizarre,
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That Planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems when I fall asleep.

Apparently if you didn't know, today was the Ministerial Forum in NTU where the PM gave a speech. No, I did no attend. But I was walking by the auditorium at 2.30 to see about 10 policemen gathered around. So, Lee Hsien Loong was coming. even if you didn't know, that would make sure you did. 10 ppl to waste their time a clear 4 to 5 hours from the start of the event.. and bags had to be deposited somewhere else i think. so much security for one man and who really is he? is he any more than any other Singaporean? i don't know, you answer that yourself!

wat i was really disturbed by was that the forum was attended largely by foreigners. and they seem to be singing praises of Lee. His speech talked on how Singaporeans need to embrace foreigners (the same bs his govt had been trying to psycho us with) and so obviously foreigners find this something they can accept. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate foreigners. I have frens who are such and I never discriminate. We have our differences, i'm quite not on the same page as them but that's my own problem, not theirs. But its how foreigners look at things so positively that it makes us locals seemd like cry babies who depend on their govt for everything. i guess maybe because we've had such propaganda thrown at us all these time, its hard to appreciate the government. human rights is fundamental in any society. for the sake of superficial peace, Singaporeans have to forsake their rights. Why does the govt not ask us what we want but instead always tell us what to do? Honestly, i'm disilusioned. I appreciate what I have but its never the feeling of satisfaction because some people value other things more than economic status or security.

So, pap will keep welcoming foreigners. because they know that that's the only support they will have in the coming years. =(

i'm getting darker than midnight! after dyeing my hair to dark brown, i can't even see my face properly! and my dark circles are even darker though i thought that could never happen. just kill me!