i am soo angry with blogger right now. first, they changed the whole bloody website to chinese! now, they did some shit and my whole long entry is GONE!! i'm am in despair!! weeps* I AM GOING TO SUE BLOGGER FOR ALL THE MISERY THAT THEY HAVE GIVEN ME!!

weeps* okok, shall try to control myself=(..as you may have seen, i've changed the layout..yes, pink and pink and pink! i am absoultely satisfied.. its really pink madness..took quite some time to find it and make the changes.. but guess, its okay now.. spent an even longer time trying to get the tagboard done.. i'm trying out a new one..c-box or something like that..i'm sure many of you alreday have it..but u noe how it-savvy i am rite, so pardon me for my ignorance for such enhancements. so, all you guys out there, remember to fill it up okay..

was looking at the last entry.. 28th November 2005. what the heck have i been doing for 18 straight days without blogging. oh gosh, i had abandoned my blog for so long!! "sorry blog, i'll try to take better care of you from now on!(hopefully)" well then again, i wasn't exactly free all these time..

had to go for some totally boring malaysia trip with my extended family..i seriously dun get the point why my mum still forces me to go fo something that i'm totally not interested.. its just a damn waste of money..precious money since i'm broke right now. and then there was OGL camp right after that..from monday to thursday.. but since i'm so bloody misfortunate, i ended up spraining my ankle on the second day..wtf! my mum was so freakin pissed.. i kinda understand since it was the eighth time i sprained the same part of my ankle in 5 years.. not funny at all.. so, couldn't go for OGL camp on thurs as my ankle suddenly had bruises..dun ask me how come.. got 2 weeks excuse.. and the doctor was like" you better not go play games or dance for the next two weeks! or you'll have to pay me another visit!" wat the hell! isn't that wat OGL camp mainly consist of?? games and dance?? its as good as telling me to go there and shake leg for the whole day!!

apart from that, i guess the camp was alrite.. the mass dance is good, just that i can't get 90% of Pon de replay.. i am so dead! my lossehelin's(hope i spelled it right) name is Kyofu..supposed to mean horror..so we get to wear scary stuff for march in..i think i'll be doing the zombie.. ha..its rather fun.. making the j1s shriek on their first day of school..evil grinz* and the og name is scream..as in the movie scream..yup, kinda changed the storyline to something very lame..so if you wanna noe more, come ask me!

watched the last episode of rainbow connections just now.. the ending wasn't really the way i hoped for it to be.. but oh well, its not too bad.. so yes, i'm super glad that jianyi din go wif yoyo.. the ockoto(what a wierd name!) competition was bullshit.. xiaoqian and david were way much better than the skilless dance of yoyo.. she is such a snob! wait a minute..snob isn't a strong enough word. yoyo is a selfish, mean, evil-loving bitch with a fucking attitude problem!! she can't even dance well..still can give that kind of a look! and good thing jianyi wasn't dump eough to go after the stupid bitch!

on a lighter note, i think xiaoqian's quite pretty.. for a chinese girl..(i think zhang ziyi, vivian hsu, jolin tsai etc. are not at all pretty..so when i say she's pretty, she's pretty!)as in she looks like a beautiful chinese girl..as in from china..not singapore.. i'm not so sure if everybody would agree, but if she was from China, i would recommend her for Miss China Universe/World..

also, just got the news that liverpool are drawn with sl benfica, their the portugese champions anyway.. i think liverpool's got a pretty easy team, so they must win. not draw but win!! chelsea got drawn agains't barca.. omehow, i want chelsea to win cuz i think barca is pretty strong and liverpool might have a hard time beating them later on.. so hopefully, some magic is added to crouch's feet to get him to score..seriously, he's record sheet is pathetic and he's got to do better..he's starting to score and that's a good thing..but no! not enough for the european champions! they need a champion striker!!hopefully, crouch can see the light!!

hopefully, this entry doesn't get screwed up like the other one..

got nagged at by yvon to update. ahh. been at home lately.at last. a lot of things have screwed. np is total shit rite now. with the changing of so many components after that hard training. not likely to have time in dec to train them. so, have to see how lah.

i'm freakin broke..there's so many things to look out for.so many things to buy. but my money's rite now stuck everywhere. haiz..and not getting much allowance now that its the holidays. damn.. and taken a sudden interest in harry potter. bought the entire series after pleading my sis for some cash. she's richer than me anyway. so yeah, spent 4 afternoons reading the first 3 books. rite now at goblet of fire..its fucking thick..

its quite annoying in the sense that i haven't really finished my hmwk..had started on it diligently..but my frens were blasting me for being such a no-life. seems they haven't touched theirs. i should really get back to work and stop reading the stupid book.

hmm..let me see.. things in dec. MY BIRTHDAY!!! yay! should be getting some cash from my parents. have to bring my mum for dinner(my treat). babes outing. the sickening family trip. ogl camp. np training. urghs. and getting that physics hmwk done..since when did i start hating that subject. even more than chem rite now. oh well.

oh found out something. got a letter. the one on edusave. was rather shocked. din expect to be in 25%. ha..esp since i got the same kind of letter when i was in st.marg's. i mean obviously, there would be a great standard diff between the two places. so, tot it was a bit wierd. anyway, i never get the money. so no point gloating.. =(

back from training. arrgh. quite clueless rite now. i mean seriously, wat else am i supposed to be doing. they dun seem to be improving and they still think they are good. and some can even complain about it being so difficult to do the damn easy things. they really haven't seen the world. and there's no fire. absolutely none. nope. not even a single one. wats with that. they giving their 100% might not actually be enough. but isn't it really their choice whether they want to do well or not. and with what face am i supposed to be looking at lsb. there's so much pressure to perform. and its so bad to see that nothing really gets done. hmm. hopefully, they get some strange inspiration..

chalet from 14th to 16th.. pretty much alrite. well, first day bbq..went to jp's house before that to prepare some stuff. was watching a Sun Yat Sen( did i spelll that rite??) movie. not too bad.. took a taxi but wat the fuck. thomas wasn't there and we needed somone who was 18 to check in.. so jp and i waited and waited with all those freakin stuff.. there were really a lot of things to carry.. the rest of the ppl were still at the MRT station waiting for the costa sands bus which never came. they took a cab..stupid alvin.. came like some poser./

i must say.. the place was pretty small.. a small area outside the chalet for bbq, a small bathroom, a damn small TV, a refrigerator which din really act like one, and a very small bedroom.. basically, everything was small lah. the girls took the bedroom and the guys had to sleep downstairs.. and there were freakin so little girls who came..

the bbq was damn tiring.. i mean wat the hell. we took about 3 hours to get the charcoal burning cuz all of us were amateurs. and they thought i would be able to start fire cuz i was a instructor in NP. like when was that part of wat i should be able to do. unless for ATC, it is rather not of much use. so yes, after getting a pathetic bunch of charcoal burning,we sort of cooked the food. it was so freaking unhygenic. the satay dropped on the floor and we just washed it and barbequed it.. ET and toh eb came. ET also brought her bf. he looks like soh cc actually..kinda freaked out at the sight of him. ha..not too bad though..just abit reserved i suppose. shan't judge from first looks.. there was so much food. really alot.. and we were barqueing until about 11 plus.. and then went for night cycling. went from one end to the other.. then back. we went to some damn dark place.. was a bit scared but a bit better since the guys were there.. in the end my ass was hurting so bad. couldn't even sleep properly.

went to sleep only at 4.30 am.. the guys were still making so much noise.thanks to the ps2. and they came to disturb us around 8 or 9 plus. can't really rmb. din budge out of the bed. kws and ze slept on the floor. and joel was standing and sleeping. felt very bad..so gave him some place to sleep. well, i moved to the floor. din really catch a good sleep.. second day pretty much free and easy.. went for lunch and bedok..cycled there..

had an old sc6 class gathering at nite.. felt a bit awkward cuz it had been a really long time and seemed so wierd.. but in the end..wasn't too bad lah.. they were pretty nice.. but the new class wasn't very welcoming..they din really like the old class..so they left for steamboat dinner at marina south.. we had pizza.. ha..one good thing.. i learnt mahjong..tahaaa.. quite interesting..but NO. not wanting to be CHEENAFIED!!

and the guy from UAE called..i think his name was daniel.. quite fucked up lah.. he just tried to get an appt with me..not like i'm some majorly beautiful attractive chic or smthg(kok will agree wif tt).. it'll be so embarrassing if they see me and dump me like some shit. and somemore he was talking abt my ambition to marry a rich and handsome guy. i mean wat the fuckk. who the hell will take wat i wrote so seriously.. i just shut the phone halfway..

we did accounts and realised that we went way over budget..had to increase the coast lah..damn..sherms used the aluminium foil to start a fire.. for bbq..and then Rui yi's frens came to help..since they seemed to have everything going on fine, i went to sleep.. slept downstairs cuz it was too cold upstairs. some of the guys slept upstairs too.. but joel was so worked up over some fighting ps2 game that he spent the whole night playing.. but he got so tired that he slept the whole morning..in the end. it was only 6 ppl left.kok,charlie,sherms,ze,XT and me..went for lunch at LJS.. had to bring home so many freaking things.. including a watermlon and paper plates.. so sickening..had to drag evrything home..

overall, it was pretty much wat i expected..hopefully, we got some class bonding going on from there..

also, went in the morning to watch harry potter with LW.. and i forgot to bring the tickets.. freaked out lah.. luckily managed to get him with some help from the manager.. the movie was alrite.. the graphics were good but the story was a bit choppy.. hah.. and we were nearly late for training cuz that idiot got us to the wrong bus stop..

ok this entry is pretty long..better get some sleep..

back from the long PW meeting at yuen may's place. two more days..and pw's outta my life! yay!! finnaly managed to book the tix for harry potter. so late thanx to the so many ppl who haven't paid me for chalet. i'm like focking out my own money right now to pay my dad. damn. i'm never organinsing another one of these outings!!

got in for the OGL thing.. its alrite. i guess i'm not as happy as some might expect me to be.. but given the job, i'll try doing it well..

my new specs are sooo pink and purple. ha..so wierd since i am not accustomed to wearing this kind of specs. ha.oh well..

got back results..AACD..not too bad since its way much better than terms. but the teeny weeny bit of disappointment still lingers in my heart. it seems like hard work doesn't always pay off well.. two days of studying Bio-A. months of studying phy-E(without moderation). haiz.. its so unfair.. i felt so guilty when ms toh was talking abt physics.. i did way below her expectations.. sigh..

thomas topped the class..3 As.. sorta expected.. always sleeping in class and can still do so well.. its so irritating. ze+ got 3 As too..asshole.. but i guess, he's a consistent worker..gd for him.. dun think i'll be taking s-papers.. i'm still thinking of maths.. since bio is not an option anymore with my C5 in GP..but, most likely not..pretty useless lah..

felt quite sad for a number of ppl in class.. its just so shocking they din do well.. esp when some others whom i feel din really deserve it got good grades..not that i look down..well, i don't..if they study and do well, then good for them..but if they dun study and somehow, do well..damn tyco..

yes, its a ear already..half the race finished.. and fnished not too badly.. i shall be my greatest competion and do well.. for its the A's that matter in the end..

promos finished quite some time ago.. ha.. spent too much time outside or watching dvds.. hee.. and now its PW madness!! spending so much time doing the F**ked up PW for which i think i will get a T grade just like kenny predicts..sianz.. and prmos results coming back on friday. quite scared.. esp when phy only 30% passed in the level.. ms toh said i passed section B but got 5/15 for MCQ.. thats quite dumb actually..pretty pathetic.. oh well.. hopefully i pass overall.. and et said only 6 ppl passed chem..quite sad cuz i was hoping our class will do well.. and jp is always suanning me..cuz i passed sort of passed. so evil.. i'm sure she'll do well esp since she mugs so hard. and please. I'M NO MUGGER!sigh..trying to get that inside those girls' heads is just so hard. they dun get it. i'm not given much of a choice. i think i screwed gp..i have no mother tongue. which means i have to pass everything else. darn! haiz..not gonna argue with them abt it anymore.

well, for now i guess i should just try to enjoy as much as i can. booked the chalet already. fun-o-rama..games sort of settled..surprisingly..bake sale.. hmmz.. if nobody opens their house, then i dunno how lah.. ha..charleston sprained his ankle i think..his pw group is suffering.. i still suggest they go to his house.. hee.. freak him out..=) and i can't believe how ze+ can come up with a sick joke on charlie's middle leg..wtf.. kws!! i'm so angry with him over pw.. and he's a sicko...a mushy sicko.. found a badge with him..it wrote"I love you.. because you are a sweet little fool!!" I almost puked blood. can't imagine..

i want to see my babes!! darlings, i really miss you guys!! jam's simons..athena and her purple,green,pink..oh i-dunno-wat simons..love you guys!! lets confirm our dinner date soon!!! before jam runs away to make babies again..

two days to promos.. most of the work done..but not bio. not at all. oh well! only two ppl were absent from school today. wats wif that!? some class only had two ppl present. ha..all the talkings of ponning sch.. jp din come. stupid girl.sleeping at home. my day was bad in the morning.

woke up 15 mins late. slept on the bus and missed my stop. had to take the damn MRT back to sch. lessons were near useless. esp that damn inheritance lecture. he took so long to do a few qsns. was so scared that chee hong will take away my handphone. you see, my phone rang yet AGAIN during his lesson. he wanted to confiscate it for one day. but din give it to him yesterdat. guess he forgot abt it. shree's birthday today. koh wui siong on wed. joel on monday. bob on tues. sad to be having exams on your birthday..after school was damn funny. after physics that is. ze+ asked me to keep sherm's bag inside the girls' toilet. sherms saw that and tried to snatch the bag away. he suceeded but i managed to grab his box and run into the toilet. ha. they din wanna come in cuz i was armed with a camera to capture them in action in the girls' toilet. i was laughing so hard cuz they were trying all possible ways to get in without being caught. sherms even though of spraying a fire extinguisher on me. koh wui siong barged into the toilet. yes, got his pic but lost the box. then sherms, ze+ and kws all came to attack me. stupid ze+!! pour so much water on me. shall have my revenge on all three of them one day!

i'm trying for OGL.. not sure how. cuz my parents are planning a holiday around that time. shall wait and see. the class wants to pon acgames. understandable why. not very likely that our class will win, esp with those guys.. but i think bev's upset. shall try to convince everyone to come. must eradicate alvin kok and chien zi yi first!! ha..too strong.. ya. you get the point.

wat to do after promos?? actually, got so many things. must catch up wif my babes. must watch corpse bride. johnny depp!! must plan a successful class outing. class chalet?? steamboat at someone's house?? bbq?? movie marathon!!! must watch all thre american pie again! and also all the three scray movies! some are not with the idea but who cares! just watch with those who want to watch.. not for the porn but the teenage humour. gee..

well..now its the promos that should be in my mind. come on guys! 12 more days and it'll be all over!

trying to print out the physics promos paper..such a hassle.. promos in a weeks time.. still got quite a bit to do. ok, won't say i din study cuz i did. but not sure if its enough. everyone claims promos gonna be a killer. but seriously, how bad can it be? oh well, just trying to look on the bright side. i've not really been doing school work. just revising. seeing ppl aroung me fretting over things that they haven't done. esp those who always seem to have done their work in the end. i don't know. maybe they really din do. the selfish ones. sometimes, it makes me angry. its makes me want to be selfish with them as well. two ppls birthday this week.. planning to do something but hopefully everyone is with the idea. yes, exams are on the way. but it would be nice to get together once in a while to celebrate..

i've never studied as hard as this before. never have i ever stayed up until 1am on consecutive nights to finish revision. never. i cherish sleep. so u probably know how hard it is for me. o'levels seems far distant right now. promos.promos.promos. to all those who are reading this right now. GET BACK TO MUGGING!! yep. hard as it seems, we have to go through this. take it as a challenge. i'm sure we'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

aaaaaAAAAhhh!! zzz monster is attacking me!! wr has taken up two whole nights.. f**k!! ok..gotta go cuz the bell just rang..KWS is making me mad!! I'm going to kill him!!!

stuck in the library now..was supposed to be printing out my eom but thanks to so screwed up guy who spoilt the machine, i'm sitting here typing this..waiting for the aunite to repair the machine.. haiz.. i've yet to let the zzzz monster take over me..thanks to pw..wr due on fri and i haven't even started on it.. my group is doomed.. oh well..juz go to smu.. saves all the trouble..

i feel kinda guilty for all the stuff i said abt her in the past.. i mean she can be annoying but i actually pity her now, seeing the state she is in.. there's so much discrimination..isn't wrong to be urself? to do all those crazy things and not worry abt wat others might think of you!! maybe it is..maybe in sc6.. i feel like a hypocrite.. bitching abt her behind her back but putting up a false front.. okay, maybe not false..unreal?? oh watever!! i'm trying to change..hey, if you have noticed, i'm nicer to her now..and i dun say horrible stuff anymore.. but why can't evryone just be like that.. u really don't know who to believe..who you can tell the truth to.. who is smiling in front of you but saying all those mean stuff abt you behind your back..who will be there beside you when you reallu have a problem..okay..all these are just my random ramblings!! sigh!! i think the person has repaired the machine..better go queue up before the bell rings..

i've been wanting to blog something but evrytime i log in, there's just so many other thigns to do.. decided to chuck everything one side first and update.. yeah!!! went out with my babes!! woohoo!! went to watch wedding crashers..all thanks to stupud jam..the whole film was so R(A).. though it was only rated NC-16.. i think jam must have wanted to watch it..that's why..give an excuse that johnny depp looks metrosexual.. so that she can get ideas for her numerous husbands!! and I WANT MY NEOPRINTS!! athena and i managed to convince jam and ivy for neoprints..since we were chaeted the last time.. and i left it with her athena cuz i had to rush home!! darn..wat life!! anyway, also, on monday went out to see charlie and choc factory with some classmates.. it was sooo worthit!! the movie is superb..esp with the oh so cute johnny depp.. and no..HE IS NOT METROSEXUAL.. i'm sure athena and alisa will agree with me.. haha.. went to PS first..but the stupud queue was until the lifts.. so probably if we had waited, we would only have gotten tickets for the late night show.. not kidding!! so decided to try our luck at suntec..haha..eng wah..lousy theatre..so only got very few ppl..a lot of rj though.. go watch charlie and choc..its so good!!! shall tag again soon!!=)

heehaa!! joy to the world!! heex..going mad.. this whole week has been pretty slack.. monday quite slack..somemore we pon bio.. tue got phy spa.. wed is slack day..thurs got bio spa..fri, oh well, normal lessons.. hah..this kind of a week rarely comes about.. i've been sleeping 10 hours a day..yepz..not kidding!! ha.. and i've been laughing a lot this week.. well, there is a lot to smile abt.. firstly, I PASSED MY NAPFA!!! yes!! ha..managed to get my standing broad jump worked out in the second try.. at last.. no more mass PE.. well, i do like it a little i guess.. but i'll be pacing jp for her 2.4 on monday..cuz tt teacher misrecorded her timing and it seems like she din pass.. i tot i heard him saying she did.. and jp's mad.. she's cursing the teacher now..oh well..look on the bright side.. a better timing for 2.4 wouldn't hurt.. secondly, i think i did well for physics spa.. managed to complete everything, rite on the dot.. many couldn't finish..dun blame them..the expt was quite troublesome.. anyway, i've decided to really start mugging..oops!! studying as zi yi would like to put it.. he's adding a lot of pressure..i mean damn it!! he's doing all the hmwk..shouldn't fall behind..its going to be very competitive..but i'm going to push on.. must get my 3As.. sounds ridiculous?? i'm going to make it happen!!

to 1SC6: i noe we have not done well for terms. but lets not be a LC(Loser class!!, as zi yi again puts it) we shall bounce back from our humiliating performance and strive to be the best.. yeah..lets help each other and believe that our dream can become a reality..if only we believe!! love you guys!!!=)

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!

hmm..yes..a very long time yet again.. got back all results.. Bio-B Maths-E Phy-O Chem-F GP-C5 ha.. failed two..but i guess its subjective..since there was no level marking.. overall i only failed chem..by 1 mark!! oh well.. its back to normal boring school days again.. and many times, I still regret the wrong decisions I made.. doubting my capabilities. this year has been one of the lowest points in school.. maybe i'm just missing the past. the times where i could do everything silly instead of being looked at like some wierd thing. having a class which noes how to cooperate and do things together.. sitting beside ed..talking to prav.. laughing and dancing in NP room.. trying to be an "uncorrupted" prefect.. sigh.. schools seems like torture nowdays. was talking with jp abt quitting sch.. seriously, i dun see the purpose of draining all my energy into getting some dumb facts inside my haed. HELLO??!! what the heck am i supposed to do by learning APGP?? or Dynamics?? maybe i should have chosen poly.. though that would result in undesirable responses from my parents. gggrrgghhh!! i see that i'm always stressing over the same point about going to JC.. grumbling won't help.. its up to me to figure wat i'm going to do now.. anyway, got the letter for speech day AT LAST!! but they had the same error as my star.. 7 As NOT 6As!!! haiz..had to go down twice to get evrything settled.. and finally got my robe.. i remember vowing to myself to get 6As and wear that damn robe..yup.. finally made it!! woo hoo!! haha.. Keeny Kong read my blog i think.. the look on his face.. abt the comments on guys and stuff i guess.. well, can't help it..maybe he can initiate the change.. i guess that would be wonderful...( i'm sure alisa agrees wif me) :P

hmm..i'll write back again..soon..i hope..

was thinking of not blogging.. but the com was too tempting. PRAVEENA!!!!WAT ARE DOING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER? IT'S YOUR TERM EXAMS NOW!!! juz thought i should write that.. ya. the guilt that i'm not studying. but i'm sick of it. mug mug mug.. lifeles mugging. its so darn boring! and school's even more boring. the damn class of mine contains so many ppl who like to isolate themselves. it seems like all the loners who applied for ac got into SC6.. Damn it! JP and I are getting tired. tot of a class party but seemed that no one is interested.. well at least most aren't.. no matter how much we try if they dun give a shit about anything, we'll juz end up like this for the next 2 years.

yup, halfway thru exams.. physics and bio is fine.. gp and maths..shan't talk abt it.. went down for dry shoot.. hah.. last time i had dry shoot was two years ago!! hmm..i dunno.. but the sec 3s seem to be taking things lightly.. decided not to say much, esp since they are NCOs.. reminds me of how i told jam," this batch got potential!"..that was two years ago.. of course, i wish that would still be the case..hopefully they'll everything sorted out..

and i haven't got the invitation card for st.marg's speech day yet.. darn..i'm gonna screw the ppl tm!!!hmmmz!!

yesyes. i noe i haven't updated for a really long time. i'm juz too lazy to blog nowdays i guess. i hate using the com. its so busy nowdays that i dun have time for anything. 3 camps is not an easy thing. sigh. and i've only finished studying chem..thats all. i'm dead. so dead. oh well, juz hoping tht everything will turn out fine at the end of the day..

let me talk a little bit abt atc. ok, my first one as a CI. not too bad. started out pretty fine.. realised that 80% of the time, things dun go exactly as u plan it to be. there was this whole confusion with the total attendance. somehow there seemed to be an extra person in the attendance but not in the camp. took a whole day to figure that some acsb guy was not actually there. ha. i must say, this batch of sec 3s are not to the standard i had expected.. was quite hard. esp since many of them tried to defy the CIs.. marcus scolded them during debrief and a few fainted. its quite annoying. these ppl dun eat, faint and cause so much trouble. had to sleep in the first aid post with the casualties. i think i got bitten by some super gigantic mosquito. cuz my whole palm was swollen and it din subside until the end of camp.

tang said that the sec 3s wouldn't have eaten much and cancelled pt. it seems more like a leisure camp now. no pt, no pumping, no nothing!! they are juz a bunch of petty, whiny whimps! jay jay and i took group D(devils) for Land Ex. the group took abt 2 and a half hours to reach the first checkpt. thanx to the fact that they took the super super long way. sigh. poor CIs..we also had to walk for such a long distance, even though we knew the correct route. we weren't very plaesed by the way the group acted. some of them were so selfish and juz let the others do everything. they juz sat down and every checkpt and complained. complain complain complain!! i'm sick of it all.. when we were cadets, we weren't like that. with the passing of each batch, the resilience and discipline in the new one seems to be diminishing. its not abt how much the CIs want to do, its abt how much the cadets are goining to help themselves. throughout the camp, i could hear random people cursing the CIs. calling them names. "F*** them!""Crazy looking ...""Sadist" HELLO!!! its not like we dun know. its juz that we dun wan to do anything.

was rather dissapointed with the st.margs girls. despite constant reminder to volunteer and take initiative. most of them were like stones. watching the rest of the ppl do, or reluctantly listening to the CIs. so many with AP!! its disgraceful. esp to hear abt it from other CIs. wonder wat i have to do to them. wat can i do if they dun have any "feelings" for the unit. sigh.no use grunting over here.

but the nygh girls were good.. they met to the expectation. and acsb was pretty good too.

after the whole thing, went for a CI lunch. tp mall seoul garden. we were eating and eating and still eating. some got a little crazy..hmm.. this is wat ATC can do to CIs!! hah.. oh well.. many of them wun be there anymore.. its going to be different.. esp with the addition of many new CIs. 5 from ny..whoa! gonna get overpowered! *grins

ok gotta go back to planning for the NCO camp.

the whole of blogger is written in chinese. and i juz seem to be pressing buttons hoping that i'll land on the correct page. i am maddened by the fact that i can't change the language settings. sigh. anyway, was reading random blogs juz now. and stumbled upon a fren's one. it spurred me to think. who am i to the people around me? most of the times, i see myself being superficial in front of wat i call, acquaintances. portaying a false image. i confirmed it after interpreting my personality graphs. Public Self- Very High I. Personal self- Very Low I. it reflected my inner self so truthfully. with people around you changing so often. now and again, they hurt you. wats true. wats there for me to believe. i feel so used. it tears me everytime people around dispose me like some trash. the emptiness in my heart will never be filled i guess.

was a talking to a fren yesterdae. abt the class. little improvement. and it doesn't help by hearing that some of the guys go for movies secretly.. why do they have to outcast the others..esp the other guys. they form a social circle which they guard so fiercely , trying to hide themselves from reality. its aggravating especially since he holds a position in class. we're going to try something. hopefully, we can get that done.

weary and drained...

i told myself to stop being lazy and blog..my last entry was like so long ago.

there's thousand and one things that i have to do nowdays. how i wish one day had more than 24 hours. maybe i'll be able to manage better. am quite depressed cuz i screwed my physics test. 15/25. its the lowest among my three test. its heartbreaking since i mugged for this test. haiz. moral of the story: dun mug! forget that you have a paper the next day and go to sleep!

bevs running for council. she got thru the interview. if she gets thru the campaign then we have one councillor in sc6. quite cool. oh well..cannot get high during gp anymore since alvin amadeo is long gone. the ne teacher looks like some IMH runaway. she was trying to amuse us wif some very lame jokes. ha..it juz din work.

went to sa on monday for ac sa rugby match.. as usual, ac won wif a big margin. ha..way to go!! got a chance to catch up wif ppl after a long time.. had a mini 4/6 gathering at the track. ha..i miss all of them.. saw suhaila.. i miss her daily whining. ha..larissa, emmeline, joan, van k, van lee, jean, qian li, sarah, hui shan and some others i rmb seeing around before. sighz.. i missed the feeling of being a saint. i felt like i belong there.. at one pt, i even wanted to join in the cheer" saints go marching in" after all i've been singing that for sooo long.. the sa ppl who came to support did a great job..they were overpowering. was quite dissapointed abt the way ac cheered. the councillor nominees were trying to compete wif each other to see who could stand out more. it really turned me off. seriously, i have no good impression abt ac council. they look so fake. oh well. stayed back wif athena till late.. sa toilets were really bad. i wanted to cry cuz the toilet was juz too dirty. ha..maybe i'm spoilt. and we could smell blood from the canteen. realised that it was the sewage overflowing! gross.

ivy e-mailed me yesterday..was very touched. felt like i had neglected her. at least for her, the babes must go out. love you guys!

Your Brain is 33.33% Female, 66.67% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

i've been online very often but haven't really had the time to blog. i have so many overdue assignments to start on and do admin work for sec 3 atc. i wonder how the camp is going to be run. 7 CIs for the entire camp. thatz exactly enough for coordinator and group instructors. wat abt logistics and admin?? sighz..its going to be dead tiring..

Ed, hope your spots are vanishing!!
yep, she has chicken pox. with 2 weeks mc. ha. we were wondering wat they were and tried to examine it before some ppl warned that it might be chicken pox. and the best part, i haven't had mine yet. so hopefully i can get my vaccine before catching it.

i'm going through depression. the class isn't really helping. thought that everything would get better with time.. actually i'm pretty dissappointed. some of them are so fake. hypocrites. urgh.. i'm hating this.

had sports meet today. since ed is the only one i noe from GHK, i decided to betray GHK and sit wiith CKS. ha. we were so reluctant to go since there was no incentive, like half day or something. i ended up doing my homework half way. sigh. i have to start training on 2.4km.. its currently about slightly more than 12 mins.. not sure abt whats an A but i need to make it to 11 plus mins. haiz.

okay, i want to bitch now. abt someone who has been a cause for me to go into depression. someone who probably is soo in love with me that she can't stop stalking me. it makes me puke when i see the bright glow on her face when she sees me. gosh. i've tried to make it obvious that i can't stand her. is she so dumb as to not understand from my actions. she acts stupid. comes up with stupid jokes. thinks she's very funny. she keeps stepping on my hand and knocking things everywhere. clumsy idiot.

i spoilt my mood by thinking of that freak. well, well. i was gushing over someone today. the same eye candy that i disregarded some time ago. he's juz so cute. so smart. so capable. but oh well, a crush will always be a crush. because at the end of the day, he's juz another guy. =)

need to meet up wif jam and athena soon. i'm missing them sooo much! Love you guys!! muacks!

i did some exercise just now. need to lose weight. i mean seriously lose weight. i'm getting fatter and fatter by the day and the damn NAPFA is coming. i have to pass. i need to do at least 5 pull ups. i am so dead. ahhhh. haiz. bev juz scremed at me that day," NAIDU!! WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW NOW!!" ok my fault. haven't bothered to exercise. was juz slacking around quite alot. i guess i better start now or i'll never be able to do my 5 pull ups. haiz.

1SC6 is getting better. i sort of hated the class at the start. the people were so boring. only the st.marg's girls jas and a few others were active. especially the guys. they are the most unfriendly bunch i've ever met. its like there's no yi hui anymore! sigh. but i think the class as a whole is opening up. hah. we named yi ren bob(from incredibles) cuz he's juz so muscular. he was wearing the acsi pe shirt tiday and i swear. i couldn't stop staring. not that i'm attracted but the fact that i'm scared. i mean he could juz knock you flat with one blow. and there's this other guy. i'm not naming him and the whole class calls him asshole. started by alvin, the trying-to-be-nice-from-now guy. we juz had so much fun making fun of him.its mean but that guy is ridiculously dumb. somemore he's from a pretty prestigous school. we are having a class outing soon. hopefully most of them can come. =)

having a difficult time lately. my grandma passed away last thursday. had to rush to the hospital right after school. sighz. i've been only hearing the loud wails of everyone for the past few days. i guess she meant a lot more to them than to me. i'm not saying that i don't care. juz because i didn't cry doesn't mean anything. why is everyone so skeptical about it. oh well.. it doesn't matter now. everything's over. my extended family is just going to break up. the only person who kept it together was my grandma. now that she's gone, they are going to continue fighting. sometimes, i feel they are so immatured. adults fighting over the smallest things. gosh. grow up people. i've learnt to ignore it. anywae, its over. bye paati! i will miss you!;

been spending most of my time at my aunty's house. had some good time with my cousins. hah. they aren't so bad after all. after all these years of depising the majority of them, its really not bad at all. even though the atmosphere outside was very solemn, we were a crazy bunch of people. first day, all of us got into kavitha akka's room. about 16 of us to be exact. first thing, all of us sprang to the bed and kept fighting over who gets to sleep there. ha. at last, five of us slept vertically while two slept horizontally. had to refrain from stretching out my legs cuz i kept on kicking geja akka. and there was banu. despite her small size, she managed to create such a mayhem that prathip anna fell out of the bed. and stupid sharman. that idiot woke me up at 3am and pushed me out of the bed. that fella abused me so badly. i dropped onto anna's legs and hit my head. i dropped out of the bed a few more times. not happy with all he had done, sharman went to twist my hands and break my back. at the end of it, i looked like i just escaped the tsunami disaster. and he locked banu into a dark room. she din stop crying after that. haiz, guess he hasn't changed a bit after all these years. then we went around gossiping about each other. quite funny. and i found out alot of things about my cousins. lisha, kavi girls, sharmini akka and some screwed up guys were the centre of the jokes. hah. i'll be seeing them again next saturday. and for the first time, i'm looking forward to it.=)

lectures only this week..hasn't been too bad..juz that there are way too many free periods in between.. haha..why am i complaining?? guess its onli for this week before changing to super mugger mode..

class posting wun be out this week i think.. actually, i'm quite dissapointed..i really want a big change to the class..as in more new people come in..cuz at the moment, its pretty much dead..haven't really found someone to pour it all out too.. been hard lah..maybe i'm anti-social..unfriendly..bitchy..it doesn't matter..i don't like the whole clique thing..i noe thatz pretty much normal but many people in my class actually annoy me.. sometimes, i want them to juz go away.. i dun wanna see them.. i noe i shouldn't be saying all this..can't help it.. its annoying me.. why is it that all the nice ppl dun end up in my class..i'm not saying that everyone in sc6 is bad..juz a few.. so if any SC6 people are reading this, ask urself if u are annoying.. its been so lonely...i dun feel there is someone in class i can be with.. maybe outside class..somehow, st.marg's girls are the ones i feel most comforatble with..even after so many months..

i miss st.marg's.. everything in it..4/6,NP, prefects,teachers, school.. no more sitting wif ed and singing stupid songs.. coming out wif crap things to do..trying to bully teachers.. tease jam.. lie inside np room and cry..booking people..giving demerit points..its like the beautiful place i had built for myself in st.marg's is gone..forever.. i'm not liking it in ac..the appeal when i first came in is gone..it seems like juz another place that i come to study.. i'm not having fun.. the teachers are not the same.. i dun really like most of them.. how am i to survive.. did i make the wong choice..maybe SA would have been better..so many familiar faces.. a similar culture to st.marg's.. i still feel like a saint.. the spirit is still there.. i guess as the saying goes "Once a saint, always a saint"

ahhh..i think i've been spending more time in the hospital than at home..sighz..grandma's sick.. well, not really close to her..so i dun feel much.. coming week is lecture only..so pretty much slck..din do amadeo's gp hmwk..er..more like class work..not planning to hand it up anyway.. ok..PRAVEENA!! STOP SLACKING!!!! yep..that felt better..heez..great to see more st.marg's in ac.. haha..hopefully life improves..

pissed..

why am i deceiving myself
why all that pretendance
wat am i doing here?
is this really where i wanna be?

deep down
i noe the truth
as i try to hide it
but its all so clear

now, its too late
i'm left wif no choice
trying hard to convince myself
i'm at the place that i truly belong

am i??

I really really tried to refrain from blogging.. for various reasons.. lets not talk abt that.. firstly, i can't seem to accept my o'level results.. i tried..juz couldn't..seems like everyone did better than me..well, the truth is, not many did better but the fact that their pts seem so close to mine makes me ask myself if i really put in my best..

it hurts..

i can't go on like this.. i'm tired..God, pls help me...Guide me..Show me the way..

Moving on to other things, the hols this time are so far the slackest.. i'm trying to catch up with all the sch stuff.. after ponning so many days, i think its time to get back to real work.. muz try to do my very best.. of course..i desire for all 4 As..to get an award for founder's day..how possible..i dunno..i'm going to go for that..a new step in the journey of life..

i'm gettin sick and tired of school..work work work.. its like i have no time for anything else.. that day, i nearly went into depression cuz of the camp proposal.. haiz..at least it was pretty well done.. i still feel like crying when i look at the sec 1s..but they are new..shall give them some chance..

i dun feel like talkin abt it but think i should.. o's..pretty dissappointing..at first it looked fine..BAAAAAAB..this was the first thing i saw.. pretty gd i thought.. but i think u've guessed it..its my L1 that screwed..both eng and hmt..haiz..and shock no. 2, a.maths was a 2.. it was even more depressing cuz all the others had done well cuz their L1 was gd.. my sci were way much better than many..but i get higher pts.. wat the fuck!!onli thing to rejoice..A2 for humans and the fact that i'll be getting a star on the wall.. also award for speech day for my 7As..thanx mr anthony, ms siti and mr lee..tried my best..hope it was gd enough..

st.marg's has left me with so much memories..gd and bad..ed,prav, athena,jam..thanx for everything!! its been hard without all of you.. ed, i really miss sitting beside you!! even though we are in the same place, i dun really get to see you.. haiz..no use complaining..juz can't help it.. prav, its not that i'm ditching you..i really dun have the time..hopefully, i'll try to squeeze in some time for you.. athena and jam, love you guys loads..we muz continue to be the three babelicious ones..we rock!!

yay!!! all my exams are over!! haha..think i screwed some quite badly..esp chem.. anywae, its over lah..nothing to talk abt tt.. o'level results gonna e out on mon..quite scared but i'm trying to not think abt it..i'll be jumping if i get a single digit..but not very possible..haiz..why am i so stupid!! ohunit camp is soo tiring to plan..hate it...m3 and lw made me camp cood for the unit camp..itz quite unfair cuz i dunno anything much..opk..gotta g..shall blog later..=)

i'm pissied..in sch now..typing this during pw period..haiz..thanx to my dumb sis, the com has a virus again..i mean, which idiot will actually TURN OFF the viruscan..haiz..i've tried all sorts of things..given up already.. anywae, o'level results are gonna be out very soon..and i've this bad feeling i'll get 20 pts..shit..where to go..wat to do..i'm trying not to think too much abt it..but all the odds juz seems to be against me..thanx to my fucked up humans..

term test at ac at the moment..mugged abit..physics was easy but screwed my maths..isn't that ironic..lucky i din take f.maths..maths lectures aren't that fun after all.. i dunno whether i should stay.. the environment is pretty alrite..but i find most of the ppl pretty fake.. its not like st.marg's..shit..i'm missing st.marg's.. this cannot be happening..

NP!!! haha..went for my second official parade as CI..(ponned sch tt day)..wasn't too bad..but i was quite shocked to see Leong Woon sir there..i mean wat the hell is he doing in st.marg's..i felt quite pressurised during the parade cuz of mei moey ma'am and him.. but they understood fast..haha..i think i'm more comfortable now.. had our CI meeting at serene until 10..my mom nearly grounded me for that..oh, we'r planning a unit camp during mar..leong woon helping out too..we were wondering..wats he doing in st.marg's when there'll be a unit camp and acsb..haha..might as well, he become a CI in st.marg's..not a bad idea i think..then, he can come back as HI after his NS..=)

oh ya..last thing..i think i found a eye candy in sch.. can't tell who he is for obvious reasons but i'm getting distracted by him.. and tt day, i got soo mad over him that i was jealous when i saw him talking to 2 J1s outside LT2..i noe, its stupid and not the way i think..but couldn't help it..i'm sure it'll fade away..very soon..hopefully!!

it's the season of love..

Oh, Why You Look So Sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own

There's something about the way you look tonight
There's something about the way that I can’t take my eyes off you
There's something about the way your lips invite
Maybe it's the way that I get nervous when you're around
And I want you to be mine
And if you need a reason why


It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight
It's in the way that you hold me
And in the way that you know me
When I can't find the right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh you feel it in the way

It's something about how you stay on my mind
It's something about the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep oh girl
Maybe it's the look you get in your eyes
Maybe it's the way that makes me feel to see you smile
And the reasons they may change
But what I'm feeling stays the same

It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight (tonight)
It's in the way that you hold me
And the way that you know me
When I can't find the right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh you feel it in the way


I can't put my fingers on
Just what it is that makes me
Love you, you baby
So don’t ask me to describe
I get all choked up insideJust thinking about the way

happy CNY everyone!! enjoy the holidays.. hmm..i'm busy studying for the term test ttz coming up..so not enjoying much.. juz finished bio..still got physics to mug for.. i understand the calculations but not the concept.. sighz..very tiring!! think results are gonna be out very soon.. hopefully, i can remain in AC..if not, it'll be no use studying so hard..

had celebrations yesterday..and went back to st.marg's.. ed and i were in ac u..we wanted to differentiate ourselves from the normal sch ppl..haha..i think the uniform is nice.. everyone said so too..except that my skirt was too short..everyone in sch..but my cuz said tt his fren said my skirt was too long.. haiz.. anywae, met all the teachers, mr anthony, ms siti, mr lee, mrs seet(tried to run pass her actually), mr ng and some others.. we thought of visiting the principal but decided not to cuz the office staff said she was very busy.. and also alot of sch mates..haha..after tt, went out wif prav to tp central..her hand is still pretty weak..and she forgot her painkillers..so had to go home fast..nvm lah..time well spent..

ok shall continue mugging!! anyone who noes wats singpass, do tell me ok..cuz i have no idea wat it is and i must use tt for JAE..gosh!! i'm scared!! hope i do well!!

my whole body is aching.. had pistol training today.. shot 100 pellets..so my right arm is really aching..ahh..must get stronger..i'm pathetic..the pistol keeps shaking whenever i aim it straight..wateva lah..i'm so sleepy..damn tired..i dun have enough sleep now.. the fact that i usually come home late dosn't help much either.. haiz..only good thing is that my class is getting better..they dun mug alot..seems like i'm the mugger..going to st.marg's on tue.. to see teachers.. and have this SJI outing on mon..not many are going i think..dunno how lah..

another day has passed..its ok at the moment..not much stress..juz that i dun understand a few concepts..should be alrite with time..elaine tay is annoying many of the students..i'm hearing so many complains abt her..abt her whiny voice and on how she cannot teach..hmmz.. but i think she's pretty nice.. today for PE, the damn teacher made us run 6 rounds..two more than the guys..and yay!! i managed to complete 4 rounds in 7 mins.. not too bad..bev was telling me tt i should join cross country..i started laughing..running 6km every training ain't fun..and i hate LIM CHEE HONG!!! he is a total bastard..ok, tt feels much better..anywaez, i went bugis wif mum after sch..no PW, so sch ended earlier..bought some stuff..and got a free massage..somehow, i dun feel refreshed..the class has slowed their pace of muggin..i'm glad... have more time to catch up now..juz hope everything goes on fine..

its getting worse by the day..the workload that is..not that the teachers are giving us too much work..its more like the ppl in my class who are doing all the work even when not told to do so..its frustrating cuz i'm so stressed whenever i see them finish all their homework when i'm not even halfway thru..checked wif other classes and they also are not mugging as much as mine..come on!! eveyone needs a break at times..it feels like i'm resitting for the o's.. ed told me not to bother abt them and go at my own pace..but its difficult cuz since most of them finish the work, the teacher can go thru the wksht..and ppl like me will have to suffer if i dun finish up my homework.. and the teachers are going way too fast..SC combi doesn't mean that we are smart..that we noe everything even without any proper explanation from the teachers..the other combis are much slower than us.. then wats all the rush for..its really getting on my nerves.. i'm looking forward to sch everyday but not for the lectures.. bio is fine..surprisingly..but the rest are juz too ridiculous..can't catch up..i dun want to mug..i wan my sleep..something muz be done abt this!!

haiz..moving on to lighter stuff.. went for the archeolagy(did i spell tt rite?) talk today..seemed pretty interesting.. and got 1 hr CIP points for juz attending the talk.. din noe that s'pore had artefacts hidden underneath.. looking forward to AC idol..cuz it looks funny..and oh yes! went to the gym yest wif ed..we looked like small kids in there..and we din noe how to operate some of the machines..i felt pretty pathaetic cuz i couldn't lift up this armslift thingie..even though it was at the lightest weight..and i tried to carry the weights..managed the third lightest..i am soo doomed.. ed din like the gym very much..she preferred jogging..but i think the gym is nicer.. so i'll have to get someone else to tag with me to the gym from now on..and after that, we went to the cafe with michelle..haha..funny thing was that we were oogling over the waterpolo guys in their pink underwear..pink makes guys hot!!somehow, we couldn't stop looking..haha..then went on to oogle at the track and soccer ppl.. very stupid actually.. then , ed and i stayed back in sch until 9pm trying to solve the damn partial fractions qsns.. realised that there were only three students in the sch.. me, ed and some J2 guy..freaky..

after some tiem again..anyway.. sch's been quite alrite..lectures and tutorials..same stuff i guess.. my class is still mugging..and i've been trying t mug till the library closes..which isn't tt late.. i dunno wats happening for the OG outing..it still hasn't been planned i guess.. and i think we'll celbrate charleston's birthdae on thur..watching ice age or something like that.. and i'm still confused abt NP..need to get a letter from mdm yeo and i haven't got my posting..for some reason, i dun wan to go back.. [shouldn't be saying this here!!] and my schs CCAs are pretty screwed as well..i'm fine with air rifle, but its boring..ju the same thing i've been doing for 4 years.. went for interact club meeting..isn't tt bad.. so i think i'll go.. i have a debate tmr and i haven't even got my script done..its like soo last min..too bad tt the teacher only gave us two days..oh btw, he's only 19..and he's very soft..ha..enjoying life here..and i really hope tt i can stay here.. AC rocks!!=)

DAMN!! i wrote a very beautiful entry before this and it just disappeared when i clicked Publish Post..haiz..its been a long time since i last blogged..thanx to the stupid virus that screwed my com..

ACJC!! oh manz!! i'm loving it here..and its been sooo fun..OG was great..OG name was Kalendis.. Jish and Zhi were our OGLs..they did a pretty gd job.. i'm missing orientation now that lectures have started.. even though there was excessive games being played and the superstar song ringing in my head.. i'm actually starting to miss that dancing..hahz.. i'm in 1SC6.. same class as nicole, the only other person from OG.. i want to see all the orientation pictures..hopefully, they come out fast..my class is pretty nice too..though many of them have mugged like crazy ever since the secong day of lecture..think it won't be that hard fitting in..

and i chose air rifle as my cca..did a 2km run today..not very tiring..only part i hated was the pumpings..cuz we had to do it the guys style..anything lah..i'm still intending to join interact club, sci council..could be hard since i still have to make time for NP..haiz.. hopefully, i can manage..

haha..wasn't reaally expecting this..

You're a sexy girl! You are beautiful, and you
love attention from guys, and are very
flirtatous. You might come off as a slut and
bitch to some but I think you have another side
to you that is pleaing for attention, love, and
care. You might be confident on the outside but
don't be afraid to unleash a more sensitive
side. Be better than just the average sex
symbol.


What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

oh man..it very sick.. was watching american pie..it was sick..juz so sick.. well, yeah...but i wanted to watch it cuz of the funny bit..but yeah..it really was grossing me out.. all the movie was abt was sleeping around..trying to get their penises turgid and used..and it was the stupidest pact.. to get laid by grad..not wanting to be virgins..gosh!! watz up wif tt man.. but i muz admit..this guy called kevin looked really hot..really hot..too bad they din show much of him naked..ok..i'm thinking dirty..i'm sick..

found this in athena's bloggie..heez..

i was too lazy to blog in the dae..so i'm doing it at nite..dun think i'll be bloggin as actively as now when sch opens..man!! its onli a week plus..and i spend most of my time for NP!! not much regrets though.. many can't stand the fact tt i'm still devoted..well, i dun feel anything lah.. got another orientation meeting on mondae.. dread to go but not much of a choice i have..

i'm still sick..seems like i'm sicker in the day than at night.. ACTIVE AT NIGHT!! heez.. hopefully i dun die out of all that mucus.. and yesterdae nite, i was actually singing songs from the prince of egypt soundtrack..and dancing to that hebrew dances.. oh..i tried pronouncing the hebrew parts of the songs as well.. haha..ed, dunno if u rmb...we did tt in class as well..we shall still be as corny in ac k!! and managed to get the jamie cullum song!! i am so happy!! its so romantic..err..well..maybe not..but i'm still loving it.. damn!! its juz too nice.. and its playing in my com non-stop!! arrhhh!!!

open up your eyes then you'll realise here i stand with my everlasting love ..

ok..i juz had to do tt.. moving on to other things.. I STILL HAVEN'T MADE MY KIWI SORBET!! it needs two egg whites.. so my mom din wan to waste the yolk..she told me to do it tmr so that she can make something with it.. yeah..probably.. and yes..i got back the 75 bucks my mom owed me..so now..i'm slightly rich again..yay!! EVERLASTING LOVE!! i'm gonna make it the webpage song!!=)

Hearts gone astray
Deep in her when they go
I went away
Just when you needed me so
You won't regret
I'll come back begging you
Won't you forget
Welcome love we once knew



Open up your eyes
Then you'll realize
Here I stand with my
Everlasting love


Need you by my side
Girl to be my pride
Never be denied
Everlasting love


Hearts gone astray
Deep in her when they go
I went away
Just when you needed me so
You won't regret
I'll come back begging you
Won't you forget
Welcome love we once knew


Open up your eyes
Then you'll realize
Here I stand with my
Everlasting love


Need you by my side
Girl to be my pride
Never be denied
Everlasting love


From the very start
Open up your heart
Feel that your're falling
Everlasting love



Need a love to last forever
Need a love to last forever
Need a love to last forever
Need a love to last forever

I Need a love to last forever

EDWINA GOT INTO ACJC!!! YAY!!! I LOVE EDWINA!!

haha..i'm soooo happy!! dun have to sue them anymore!!=D hahz..todaez been another slack dae.. woke up with a very bad flu and sore throat.. and the phlegm from my nose and mouth was thick and yellow and mixed with some blood..DISGUSTING!! and tried to download thi swierd program for messenger..not bad lah.. thanx to my cuz..now can steal dis pics..not like i realli wan to..cuz i'm soo nice that anybody would give me their dis pic when i ask them.. SMILE!! hahz.. anywaez.. my plan of making kiwi sorbet has not been very successful..thanx to the fact that my mom is making cookies for christmas.. haiz. nvm..maybe tmr..as long as the kiwi doesn't get rotten.. hmmmz.. i'm practically doing NOTHING!! i mean seriously.. not even watching TV.. the only thing productive i did todae is to do some exercise.. pumpings, crunches, abs stretch.. YES!! i must build up some serioud abs!! I'm loving myself nowdaez!! i mean..its nice to love myslef.. CONFESSION!! I LOVE PRAVEENA NAIDU D/O JEYARAM!! going mad..

went out wif prav today..hmmz.. watched bridget jone's.. hugh grant is sooo hot...*droolz* hahz.. but yeah..kinda nice.. and then go take neoprints and eat lah..then we went around trying to window shop.. wanted to show her the very nice black dress but couldn't find it.. and looked around for bikinis..dun ask me why.. I AM FAT!! i should sooo stop eating!!!

and yes..bev is coming to AC!! YAY!!! that means i am not alone!!!=) great..niw, ed should make it to ac.. she's obssessed wif me and i am wif her also..two years of sitting beside her..its not tt easy to start all over again.. so they better give her a place in AC!! she missed out by a mere ONE point!! and i kinda feel that the ppl who made it to ac dun realli deserve it..meaning, i think they'll be out after 3 months...hope you get wat i mean

hmm..CIBTC is officially over! last day together as squad 4.. POP went fine.. though the court shoes were killin the girls.. we got this cert lah.. and a short talk on probation..so have to do certain hours for HQ and unit/area.. dunno wat to do for HQ..cuz parades and stufff like that require commitment..maybe the simple ushering and administrative jobs.. kinda have loads of experience in it..and the .38 classification shoot was awful!! i got a mere 4...here's the best part..the total points was 200.. i mean, wat a lousy marksman i am!! from 81/90 to 4/200..shit man..haha.. anything lah.. but the bullets in .38 are soo big..unlike .22.. and i felt so pissed when the revolver kept flying around no matter how hard i tried to grab it.. well, its over..juz anything.. a lot of sharing on that dae..well, gonna missa everyone.. sighz..

went for dinner after the whole thing( which ended at 7pm)..first boarded 851 to novena..somehow, we juz din noe why we were there.. and then later decided on maxwell... well, i'm fine wif anything lah.. made so much noise on our way..somemore all of us were wearing our cadet inspector shirts.. haha..hopefully no one saw us.. reached home only at 10.30.. no one was home yet..thanx to the ffact that i missed out on family dinner..well, no regrets.. Squad 4 was more important at that point i guess..esp since it was like some farewell bidding dinner.. but its not over..squad 4 will still remain as the Slackers United squad..

and now..on pae..well, i'm happy and sad abt getting into ac..happy for the fact that i could make it there and sad cuz i'm alone!! ok..so far i onli noe one other person going to AC from st.marg's.. i'm sooo hoping that ed and bev's appeals ae approved..i soo need all of them!! or ac is goin to be hell.. praying..

I'M IN ACJC!!!

heez..went for the orientation meeting today..hmmz..dunno how i'm gonna survive back in st.marg's.. the discipline is simply not thre..i'm not exactly liking it..its frustrating..jam was trying her best to be patient..but it was very testing.. juz gave them some ideas and lft them to settle it.. jam, athena n i went to cine after that..wanted to watch Bridget Jone's but it was not in a suitable timing for us.. so we decided on Christmas with the Kranks..kinda worth it..quite funny lah..can watch.. went to eat at BK and take neoprints..haha..i sooo love the three idiots!! we totally rock!! and our pics weren't that bad..in fact..i love it..haha..after soo long actually.. and they bought me a pressie for my birthday..this white bag..kinda nice..surprisingly, it was jam's selection.. later, we went shopping for jam..i mean she's currently a major fashion disaster and we went around wisma to find her something nice.. so hopefully, she abandons all her ugly clothes and gets something better.. next time she goes shopping, athena and i are gonna follow.. haha..me and athena like some fashion doctors..haha..i also tried this very short black dress..and it was super low cut..haha..half my boobs could be seen.. but it was sooo sexy... next time, i'm gonna buy it..but its $129..so better save up some money!!! i love the sexy black dress!!

5 things i'll never forget abt CIBTC

1)Squad 4
2)Tweety
3)15 mins of Hentak kaki
4)Maggi mee
5)the totally unhygenic me

hmm..first aid course..not bad lah..juz go and pretend to listen to the three instructors..oh man..they can't teach for nuts..well..i can't do first aid juz as much.. my bandage tying is atrocious and my CPR is a disaster..the dummy's chest never seems to rise.. darn!! haiz..but the test was quite crap..all of us did together..meaning six in a group..i couldn't tye the bandage again but nevermind that..louise helped me..they din even noe our names when they tested us..so i guess its either all pass or all fail.. anything lah.. planning to go to sch on 14th..the sec 3s are planning for orientation..juz go help out.. and maybe go out for a babelicious reunion..hahz.. anything.. anywae i feel very bored nowdaez..i mean how much can i do at home..my stupid mother thinks that i shouldn't go out..cuz she thinks that only naughty girls go out often..WATEVER!! haiz..so, maybe on CI nite lah..go enjoy myself and then its graduation..cool..also PAE results on 17th..hopefully i make it to AC..or i am so dead..

back from CIBTC..its finally over. well, i'm not a PCI yet but the thought of being back home away from those CIIs seems pleasantly wonderful..hmm..its both sad and happy..D'04 will stay in my memory for quite some time.. let me juz talk abt one thing at a time..

D'04-At the briefing, I thought i saw a bunch of slackers who were just not fit to be CIs but it has not been the case..D'04 has made it through wif the proud fact that it has 0% drop outs..yeah..the first batch actually.. and the first batch to have residential course after 17 years and 5 days of ATC.. it has been very hard but we have made it..First time i saw the batch as a whole, i felt that i din belong there.. everything was very new..i mean how many ppl do i know over there..i could count it wif two hands..but now, its different..i like the batch and i'm soo gonna miss it.. haiz..its all in the game..

Squad 4- hmm..very interesting..it was grouped by areas but again, i din know many..everyone had a strange look on their face and i seriously wanted to quit.. i juz couldn't see myself wif the squad for seven days.. and as the days went by, i wun say that i realli liked the group..but along the way, i learnt something..from each and everyone there..some gd some bad..but these opinions on others helped me improve myself.. its a totally new experience where the ppl were very different from the kind of way i grew up..by day 7, the squad had bonded..better than expected.. Drill Com winners..so much fun in the project competion and everything else we did as a squad..in the bunks where evryone was juz so crazy..hmm..but u realise that everything good or bad has to come to an end.. and yes, time to say good bye.. i noe i'll see some again back in area.. but it will not be the same.. i have come to like squad 4 and i'm loving each bit of it.. hopefully, squad 4 can meet up..some times for sure.. but i noe that it juz wun be the same..cuz everytime it doesn't..

San San, Valerine, Doreen, Thaya, Jia Hui, Praveena, Joan, Pei hui, Hidayah, Kai Jie, Yi Zhi, Ronald, Johnathan, Eng Kuan, Cumar, Bernard, Alex, Desmond, XingLong, Fadhli, Teck Wei, Musadiq, Johnsten, Tiong Boon, Wei Siong, Louise, Lam Bhan, Terrence

Squad 4 rocks!

Tweety- hmm..i dunno lah..every ATC group was not as close compared to their squad..i think that it was the same here..it was not easy for everyone to say gdbye to their squad and be wif the group when u noe that ur squad is still around you.. but it wasm't hard for me..Fadhli and Lam Bhan from squad 4.. the rest..i juz din noe every single one of them.. on first impression, it felt like i was going to die of boredom in the group..no one seemed interesting to me..an dthe first time i actually talked crap in the group was during the oral assessement.. i rmb Tian Shuo and Firdaus..the ones who started the POLKA DOTTED UNDERWEAR and BLOCK EIGHT!! but it made me think again..was the group really like wat i thought..or was i wrong..i guess i was.. Tweety, after Bernard sirs idea of "TWEETY BIRD COME HERE!!'..hah..it worked fine..and ATC wasn't too bad..i wasn't happy at some points of time..esp abt the leadership problems and stuff..but i guess its juz the way its supposed to be.. i talked well wof everyone but wasn't close to many..i mean, the ppl i talked more often only wif certain ppl..the rest were all nice too but i guess a little quiet..there was not enough time for more communication..i wun forget the times during rafting and all the other activities..where we worked as a group to achieve our goal..and yes we did..Best ATC Group for D'04.. we made Bernard sir and meera ma'am proud..we have lived up to our expectations..Tweety will stay in my heart for a long time.. Hope to keep in touch wif everyone..maybe a reunion..

Arafah, Jing Ting, Fadhli, Rebecca, Firdaus, Tian Shuo, Praveena, Lam Bhan, John, Terrence, Daphanie, Jason, Justin, Joey, Da Zun, Desmond, Hermann

Tweety Tweety Tweet Tweet Tweet
Tweety is the best of the best of the best of the best!

going for CI course from mr..so dun think i'll be blogging for a while..so much of hell for the next 12 days.. and my uniform looks like crap.. sighz..dunno how lah.. anywae, i've decided on AC and then SA..ed is also appealing..so i have more pros on going to AC..haha!! yeah.. see ya soon my beloved blog..

went for the CI course briefing todae..hmm..i think the CIIs are so grimmed faced!! dun seem to really like them.. but the PCIs, which includes me, okay lah.. got so many uniform and i have to do evrything by fridae..damnit!! and they want it perfect..*rolls of eyes*i dunno if i'm committed.. everything there is dun through volunteering..i dun mind volunteering..but i'm not sure if what i'm doing is right..so its only when i'm sure that i take the initiative..i dunno if i will last through the whole course..but this is what i always wanted..and i am going to work towards it... juz have the right attitude and mind-set and pray hard that i'll make it through..for the next few daez, i'm gonna work towards it..go do up everything..revise evrything..including drills, campcraft and watsoever.. dunno whether to stay for the overnight NP camp in school..see first lah.. going to do my uniform and study the course notes now..

anyway, its between ACJC and SAJC for first three months..i'm still not sure..

I'm Rachel Green from Friends!

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created by stomps.

went out with prav to plaza sing..to watch shutter..man is it a damn scary movie!! ok, it was more scary than korean movies... the plot is juz abt this stupid photographer who is haunted by a ghost..i'm not revealing anything much..but i definitely think u should watch it..its spooky and will leave you crawling under your blanket for daez..prav and i were hiding trying so hard not to look at the screen*WHY THE HELL DID WE GO THEN??* haha..and we ended up screaming in the cinema..so embarrassing..even the small kids there din scream..haha..but i think SHUTTER still rox!!

went to look at prom stuff after that..all the stuff were quite the same..and many only from Daniel Yam.. but i already bought mine..its juz a transclucent black tube dress which is dark purple inside..and i bought it only for fifty something dollars..real bargain huh..the thing was that it was not abt the price..cuz i thought another dress which my mom thought was great was to to my taste..even though it cost abt 90 bucks..anywae, i dun wa to buy anything too not worth it..cuz i dun really wear stuff like that ourside except for high tea, which i go to extremely rarely.. haha..so i'm hoping to do wif what i have and enjoy my dae..

hurray!! no more books till the end of the year!! haha..but i think i'm not rejoicing as much as my frens..why?? dunno.. maybe cuz i dun noe whether i should or not.. i'm not very sure if did well..so shouldn't be too happy..maybe to a certain extent lah.. anywae, both maths were ok..a.maths was much easier than wat i thought..physics..not bad..chem was quite easy.. bio was bull shit..and history was an anything paper..dunno wat to sae abt that.. and think i can't enjoy much.. got CI course.. and hopefully i can still be happy in there.. and PROM!! yea..PROM PROM PROM!! haha..need to get my dress..going bugis tmr... but i dunno abt the day itself..because of the course, i'm not sure how i'm ever gonna make it there.. juz hope the instructors are kind enough to let me go for that day.. and there's a briefing on monday.. in the afternoon.. so juz see how lah..

and for PAE..i'm still thinking....thinking... .... ...

i am very sad..very very very sad..oh great..i juz had to screw the most important paper.. damn it..social studies juz destroyed my life!!1WHY!!! i've no more mood to study for anything else..its like no use..what will i do if i get a B4..even if i get A1 for all the other subjects, it will end up giving me a 9..and A1 for all the rest is not very possible..i'm dead..i think i will end up getting more points than for prelims..i juz wan to make sure everything else goes on well!! i'll mug extra hard for history.. and i pray to God that i will end up with a A2..hoping for the best..

hehaho!! yeah yay!! Bio prac was great.. i actually knew what i ws doing..so happy.. haha.. they gave us a prawn..din realli feel like using the gloves so my hand is a stink right now.. they asked us to draw it..not as wierd as i expected..heez! and they asked us to identify four liquids..saliva, bile, urine and blood plasma.. quite ok lah..the reducing sugar was very easy..dun have all the wierd colour like green and yellow.. so i'm juz glad..=D

and went for the medical examination for CI course yesterday.. the doc said i got low blood pressure and had to do a blood test to see if i got anaemia..haiz..i realli hope i can go for the course..

hee..physics prac todae..not so screwed as prelims..but i forgot to write the final ans for the resistance of battery.. and also misinterpreted the qsn wrongly..we were supposed to take the readings of the resistor"singly and in series"..dunno what they meant when they said in series..cuz i thought when it was singly, it was in series!! hmm, mr ng say abt 2-3 marks there..nvm..my other parts din screw up.. hopefully i can get my A1..God, pls help me breeze through the pracs..esp the prac..thank you for making sure that i did not panic and screw up..thank u for giving me something that i am familiar with..i love u Lord!!

and miss siti got the same value as me for chem titration..19.7.. she said it should be so bad and maybe minus onli abt one mark..so i'm lucky man..and the 19.7 was an estimated value..haiz..muz also get my A1.. gave anthony to mark my ss..seq wasn't too bad..but i screwed the inference part again..WHY?? why of all qsns the supposedly easiest one?? haiz.. wan to give up hope but have no choice man..better do something and FAST!! ss in one weeks time..

also a good news..got in for the CI course!! YAY!! haha...3 weeks of torture but i'll try to look at it positively.. =D

i'm having mixed feelings..went to AC and SA open house todae..AC sucked while SA rocked.. should explain everything..but i being the same usual lazy person will go to AC..cuz it is nearer..aAAAhH!! I hate AC!! the culture there is so different..dun like it at all..i mean i stayed there onli for one hour..sighz!!! juz get used to that place and get my ass stuck there!! hopefully i can fight the ACSI domination..and hopefully, someone from st.marg's will go there!!=(

hmm..been studying a lot.. actually, doing homework a lot.. can't stand the fact that they are overloading us with english..ya..fine our eng isn't that wonderful but neither are the other subjects!! i dun like this form of intensive!! i have soo many questions for physics and can't even see mr ng..and i dunno why but i feel we are doing so many sbq..imagine if its both hist and ss.. double the work manz!! haiz..nvm..i'll persevere and go on for the next one plus month..i noe i can do it..

also rite, the stupid CI course..mdm yeo din even noe abt it and so the due date is over..damn it!! well, at least she helped me call them..hope i get in.. its three weeks though..dunno why also..quite sickening..i'll juz try my best to enjoy those three weeks if i get in..and got the something distinction award..to be given out next thursday during farewell assembly..aiyah wateva lah..

i am in love wif usher!!! the hot bod guy who made me drool..=P

My Boo

There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

Do you remember girl
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl
I was the one who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl I was there when you were my baby

It started when we were young girl
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

Yes I remember boy
Cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy
The moment I knew you were the one
I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame
And people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby

It started when we were young girl
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to timeI still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

It started when we were young girl
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

ok..i think i've sort of decided..even though its not the one i want to go to, i've decided to stick with ACJC..its ridiculous for me to choose SA since it will shift to potong pasir..anywae, where the heck is tt place..muz wake up at 4am every morning..waste my time..and bwong and veli will probably go to AC also..so i got company lah..heez!!

well, well..got back all my papers..yes.all!!on the whole, i did better than mid yr..MUCH BETTER!! anwae, i'll juz write down wat i got..

English:56%(C5)
E.Maths:76%(A1)
A.Maths:82%(A1)
Chemistry:70%(A2)
Physics:69%(B3)
Biology:62%(B4)
Combined Humanities:63%(B4)
Higher Tamil:70%(A2)

L1R5:13

if u had read my previous few entries..u would realise that i got the exact same marks that i predicted..haha..aniwae, now i have to decide where i want to go.. hmm..NJC!!!!! but sure cannot make it wif this score lah.. ACJC or SAJC..hey ppl..if possible, leave ur comments in the taggie!!!

and i feel slightly sad for some of my frens who din do as well as they wanted.. hope that they can look at the bright side of it and move on for much better results for o's..Guys!! I believe in you all!!! DON"T GIVE UP YET!!!!

this was taken during UPTLC Nite...din enjoy it much actually..but i love my frens!!

hmmph!! i wrote a reallie long entry but my stupid com hung and the thing juz disappeared. anyway, i'm kinda tired even though its the holidaez...my house is getting painted and guess wats the colour of my room..SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! yellow!!!!!! sunflower to be exact..had to choose that cuz all the other colours had to be taken and thought that it would go well with the pink border.. i dun care lah..its juz a room anywae.. ok school starts tomorrow! oh yes!! TOMORROW!! better get ready to cry!!! getting back my sorrowful papers!! and a.maths paper 2 was not as easy as i thought.. hmm..hope i dun dissapoint my parents like the last time..

its been a few daez since i blogged..not too long ago i guess.. have finished most of my prelim papers..ok..here are some comments,as well as predicted marks:
english: C5 or B4
not too bad..not very sure..think its ok but it may end up a nightmare..
ss: C6or C5
SUCKED!! had hell of an idea trying to figure out which bloody source was lying or telling the truth..juz put both thru the lie detector lah..aiyah..waste my precious time..think will be happy for a C5..
e-maths: A2 or A1
personally, i tot it was ok..but everyone said the opposite..maybe my easy was diff from theirs..
a-maths: A2 or A1
actually, i only have taken the first paper..but i think can somehow get my A1 if i do it fine..
chem: B4 or B3
i din do well..can't sae much..=(
bio: B3 or A2
yea..din typr wrongly..believe wat u see..i think it was much..maybe 100 times easier than mid yr..haha..hopefully i get tt..
physics: B4 or B3
i think this one sucked as well..paper 2..mcq was qite alright though..
hist: C5 or B4
i think i did ok cuz i managed to understand evry qsn..yes..EVERY QUESTION!!!

my sci papers really dissappointed me..the best L1R5 i can get is..13..sighz..tt explains it all..

TDD people..clau,prav,bev,vel,JP,joan,vank,sheeni,jean,ed..yeah..we rock!!

alot of funny feelings but am without words to describe.. at least to put it in the right way.. as the prelims nears, I'm feeling more sick..more sulky.. I seem to hate the way I am.. Am i studying too much or too little? i'm juz so confused..everybody is talking about prelims..nothing but prelims!! i mean, take a break guys.. i really want to do well..i realli want to go to njc.. but does that mean i muz get lifeless and mug 24/7..well, my mum thinks so.. i'm currently trying to "enjoy" studying.. how fun.. i wan this to be over soon..as soon as possible..

oh..think i din mention this..got an A2 for higher mt.. .well, i am happy.. especially for the kind of slacker i am.. prav, deepa and latha forced me to go for uptlc nite..i din wan to cuz i couldn't be bothered..yes..i thank god for having found frens like them but apart from that..i'm not grateful to anything else..well, maybe mrs manjula's class last year which helped me get my A1..and ttz it.. so, i dun feel any bond or belonging in tt place..juz seems like a place i go for hmt..thatz all.. others had so much emotions..crying on tt day..aiyah..i dunno lah.. felt tt it was quite stupid to cry..for what!! gonna see each other for one more term..haiz..nvm.. i'll juz take it that i'm less emotional.. and quite embarrassed..thought that ppl will come in casual stuff..end up 95% coming in traditional indian clothes..i hate indian clothes.. and though i regret slightly for coming in jeans, i'm sticking to what i said.. and if ppl have a problem wif that..esp if they think that i look like i'm goin to to a discotheque..ask them to mind their bloody own fucked up business.. my frens are there to support me so i shan't worry abt anything..

prelims starts on monday..beginning wif english..and then ss.. kinda prepared..first time in my life, got 18/25 for SEQ..hopefully i can get the same thing for prelims..
my aim:

english-B4
e.maths-A1
a.maths-A1
chemistry-A1
physics-A2
biology-B3
ss/hist-B3

Total: 10 points

hopefully, i can get that..dun mind goin SA for 3 mths.. juz enjoy life wat.. anywae, its not gonna move to potong pasir by then..so, can go lah.. but cannot for o's..if not, i'll have to wake up at 4am..no way man!! NJ is my final destion..God will help me through this!!=)

ahhh..bio was ok..actually..i also dunno..hopefully, it is ok..hmm..evrything seems to go so fast now..i have to also..stop slacking and start studying!! got chem prac tml..better rmb not to write all the titration results in pencil and get 3 marks out of 19.. TDD rocked!! yea..well done to alll the ppl..we were the best!!~! yeah..

havin my prelim prac tml..physics..haiz..its all soo fast..hope i can do it..think i wun be bloggin much anymore..at times only lah..need to study really really hard..my NJ dream must become a reality..doin ss/hist intensive at the moment..having the test on wed..hopefull, i do well..i think i put in effort..but it never really shows..just dun get distracted and focus and wat i'm supposed to do..with God watching over me, i think it would be a breeze..

currently feeling very tired..alot of studying and very little time for anything else.. haiz.. so much homework..making me damn stressed..aaahhhh!!hating life..i'm starting to hate anthony cuz he's getting stricter and stricter by the day.. bloody hell..can actually show attitude to me.. ass!! charles low is ok lah..but the stupid worksheet than jean tan gave me sucked..haha..we all complained to mr ng.. hopefully she gets fired!! ok..i'm being quite mean..nvm lah..she can stay at home and look after her children.. had np photo taking..very screwed..haha..wat can i say..took alot of pics..first time like that in full u..at last manz!! prelims in less than two week's time..better buck up!!

todae, tamil paper was ok lah.. a bit mixed feelings..but who cares..considering the fact tt i slacked the whole year for tamil, if i get a A2, i'll start jumping..and during paper 1, hada big stomach ache..juz lied on the table.. wrote rubbish inside..then started singing songs..and breathing very loudly..dun ask me why..paper 2..i started smiling in between the paper.. hope no one saw..and after finishing, instead of checking..i started writing on the rough paper..some sweet lyrics lah..then, went out to bk wif prav, deepa, latha and zahira..tok cock lah..i had to leave early since there was the rehersal for spf..

tt stupid rehersal where onli 2/3 of the ppl went..i tot everyone will go since they are the creme de la creme..haha..some joke abt tt.. and so lonely somemore..since only me..luckily got one girl to tag wif me..and ya..ok lah..the area 1 CIs were sooooo lame..they seemed like monkeys.. i realli wondered if they locked up all the real CIs and impersonated them..haha..crapz.. they made an invitation to us to join the CI course..dunno lah..i dun think i will survive the course.. haiz..practised on how to take the badge and walk and all that usual stuff.. i was most embarrassed cuz nearly all had first class drill badge.. wat the.. aiyah..nvm lah..the sji ppl were quite nice..same area..so they talked and stuff.. basically, juz another boring event..

end of the 5 day holiday..damn!! i really wan to sleep more.. htl exam on sat.. realli need to do something abt tt.. somehow managed to finish the hmwks during the weekend..not alot actually..but as u can guess, i slacked alot.. got photo taking tml.. both prefects and npcc..dunno how i'm gonna manage..

Had national day celebrations today..was mainly boring..played wif suhaila's palmtop throughout the skits.. alot were stupid.. tolley was the worse..they din even have one..haiz, so much for having me in that house.. gage brown won but i din like their skit..even got tamil words inside..i seemed like some translator for all my friends.. the best part according to many was the indian dance..i had to admit..it was ok lah.. and edwina tried to shake my head like indian..so wierd cuz i couldn't..haha..i'm screwed!!

went to get sana badges from hq..the ppl were so so so rude!! made us wait ourside for so long.. looked like idiots.. i'm goin to write some feeback to whoever is in charge..maybe to the AC since he likes us so much.. and dunno wats up wif him..not plannin to give us our SI rank i think.. then went to toa payoh central to eat..so hungry after the stupid man make us wait for so long.. talked abt our fantasies..haha..shopped at CD rama..and went home..[din noe how to end it]

got my SPF-NPCC..haha..happy lah..again..deserving?? dunno..juz think np life rox!!

went to hcjc carnival..was damn boring lah..athena haven't seen the sch..if not i would not have bothered going.. u can see the geekyness in their faces..haha..yea..some mass dance..looked like some workout...st.marg's mass dance is nicer..basically juz do anything u wan!! and their stalls were prtty much boring.. and the hc ppl wearing orange tee wif the words,"Hwa Chu Lookin At?" Damn Lame i thought..understandable actually!! after that went to buy maroon 5 cd..half the CD is nice..the rest..u will aprreciate if u like slow songs.. oh..in the morning, went for parade.. but juz show face and attend debrief..the rest of the time..spend studying bio..some productive work done..=)

haha!! dunno why..but i seem to be in love wif chinese songs at the moment..i think its damn nice!! currently i can even sing one whole song..cool ah!! but quite wierd lah..cuz i burn these songs and when i hear it in the bus, everyone gives me the look..heez!! i guess they think ttz not natural.. but well, for someone like me, i dun see anything wrong lah..haha..i seem to be more interested in the chinese culture than athena..haha..planning to go for conversational chinese lessons after o's..haha..but dunno who will bother to tag along wif me..grow up and marry a rich chinese guy..perfect cross-culture example!!

todae, i woke up at 3.30am to study..so proud of myself..haha.. i actually din go back to sleep.. the whole day in school quite slack lah..mr anthony was trying to motivate us in class..dunno how much it worked..but it helped me reflect on wat i was currently doing..so i need to get rid of all the distractions..haiz...hopefully.. had ss in hall..but personally i prefer the classroom cuz i had leg cramps after that..the best part was the fact that there was no English.. can't believe I'm hating english.. all thanx to seet and her boring lessons where i'm stoning half the time..actually more than that..

went to buy bio tys wif athena after school.. at last!! we finally found the right book..then went to KAP to study...well, we did some productive things since jamee wasn't there..hee..gave some stupid excuse to meet dunno who lah..aiyah..dun care about her..and i think we saw many familiar faces.. haha..even some stupid CI wif 3 of his cadets..they were sitting right beside so we could hear every single thing they said..too bad it was in chinese but i could get bits and pieces of it..they were basically gossiping!! damn sickening!! aiyah, expected lah..its them after all..

oh ya..we going to have a big smash party after o's..the WE is basically me athena jamee and ivy.. since my birthdae is in dec we celebrating then..haha..yea..i'm the lucky one..always.. =)

got back report book..L1R5-20..bad lah..but dunno how come i got 11th position in class.. something happened to everyone i guess..but, hope to do better..much better..like mr anthony said, i have to make my L1R5 at least half of what i've got now!! and yeah!! i have the determination..and i'm goin for it!!

also todae was speech dae..got the best unit cadet award..felt happy and proud of myself but dunno how deserving i am...haiz..it always happens..but thanx to everyone who stood with me in NP..jamee, athena and ivy..ma'am mei moey and evryone else too..=)

haha..i screwed..it seems to be the only word in my vocab..but anywae, i still feel great..the happy happy me..why?? seriously, i dun noe..when i can find out a reason..i'll write it..=)

I dunno lah..but feel so guilty cuz i did badly for both ss and hist.. mr anthony was very dissapointed.. i was crying in class.. i mean its not like i din study or something cuz i studied.. i realli wanted to do well for my paper..it feels so saddening to make someone lose their hope in you.. and my mistakes were stupid.. i could have done much much better.. juz hope i can improve..juz 6 weeks left for prelims..=(

i'm very stressed..feel so pressurised but totally helpless over my situation..i mean wat more can i do?? if only an angel comes and enlightens me..=(

haiz..got back some papers..did badly in everything except e-maths..will post the marks once i get everything..aniwae, i juz hope my L1R5 is below 20..damn..dunno where i'm gonna end up..muz start to work harder..and harder..hmm..tml gettin ss back..anthony already said i did badly..then edwina todae say average msg is 6.4 Wat kinda marks is that!! fuck!! i need big time bucking up..

I love todae!! yea!! haha..k, a very long dae but enjoyed it.. first was CIP..went to jurong point to collect money but only to find that there were other schools there already.. aiyah..stand for so long until got leg pain..11 something we stop doing fund raising and went to eat at Long John's.. they have realli poor service there.. must complain.. then went to cine..take photo..actually not bad lah..me edwina and amanda.. some quite nice..i looked girly for once..haha..then after that went to take neoprints wif athena and jamee.. quite crap lah..juz acting loony half the time.. well, i guess that's not unusual..and then went for MEAN girls..not bad lah..quite farnie actually..haha..the label "plastics".. quite interesting.. and i learnt something new.. Now i noe the meaning of " butter your muffins"..to those who dunno, juz be that way.. after that went to wisma and shop..jamee wanted to go home but we threatened her and made sure she followed us.. quite easy to blackmail her lah actually..haha.. then the stupid girl was telling abt some guy who wanted her no and she din wanna give it to him.. boy, did he look so bad!! disgusting man!! i rather she choose crow to him.. crow a million times better..jamee's a joker..she was scolding me for pronouncing her name funnily..but it sounds nicer to me..i pronounce it like the "jam"[the one used on bread, juz in case you're wondering]..and i love her that way.. Athena, Jameela, Praveena..3 Idiot forever..whether in NP or not..=D

i'm not in the best of mood now.. got back physics paper 2..damn shit..49/80..i nearly fainted.. i think it was my strongest science subject..and mr anthony sort of hinted that i did badly for social studies.. i think i'm realli screwed..die!!

but i still am goin to enjoy my weekends cuz i noe i will have alot of crying to do next week..=( and so to start it off, i have CIP tml..then got to go wif edwina to take grad pics..haha..then go watch mean girls wif jamee and athena...

YAY!!!! examz over at last!! haha.. i can relax now.. well, at least for two daez..need to catch up on my sleeps.. haha..watchin mean girlz tml wif athena and jamee.. i got screwing frm both of them todae..MEAN GIRLS!! hee..i'm gettin lame..aniwae, i dunno when i'll be gettin my papers back..juz hope its later.. and blink 182's I Miss You is stuck in my head!! i've been playing it over and over again..its so old..still i love it..

hmm..quite some time alreadi ah.. aniwae, i think i screwed alot of my exams..chem bio..physics..haha..and a.maths..ok..i noe its no laughing matter but how else am i to do..study so much still of no use..i think i'll juz have to be prepared to get scolding..haiz..

heah!! k...went for shopping todae..with mother and sis.. and guess wat, shopping isn't so bad..i din sulk for once..haha..all around orchard..looking for prom dress..haha..yea..but the one i like was abt $160++..sO ex!!! bloody hell..u expect me to starrt saving from wat..NOW?? hmm...all were very fitting and nice..so i think i'll look totally horrendous..not to mention..FAT!! haha..fat syndrome!! ended up buying loads of undies...hahaha..the new kind for hipster..cut at middle..and some bikini sets..yes..i'm not kidding!! haha..but duh, i'm not goin to wear them out!! haha..see first lah..10 yrs later..when i win ms universe!! haha..fat hopes??think again!! and got some manicure sets..and buffing kits..so vain lah!! and my shopping trip was made more interesting when i saw all the mommy's boys out with mama to shop...carry bags and stuff.. great resemblence wif Rakesh and Navin..haha..wat luck..aniwae, i've to fix my printer..so betta stop..

aiyah..quite some time alreadi..neva blog..hm..anithing new, juz tt i'm stressed.. i feel i'm goin to kill my self.. dunno why..juz wan to..and some of the ppl i know seem to have dreamed abt me dying..maybe i will..very soon..haiz..lets juz leave that to my fate..and speaking of dreamz, i have had alot this few weeks..i mean, everyday i'm dreaming of something..wierd lah..one day, i see myself winning some debate..another dae, i am jumping down some building..and once i even dreamt of gettin married..at 18..how dumb.. can even see the guy's face..but neva before see in my entire life.. aniwae, i think dreamz neva come true..i hope they dun lar..i've to study now..will keep this updated..oh ya..my cousin'd weddin tml..juz wanted to mention tt..=)

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