I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place

And it starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

And they start in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

was watching king kong until 4am yesterday cuz i couldn't sleep and i din wan to touch my notes. it was really sad and i was crying until my sofa became very wet. it was that kind of classic man dying for the women he loved. just that in this case, it was a gorilla. i noe its fiction but you can't help wondering if such things can happen. since you usually adore your pets ranging from cats and dogs all the way to the the snakes and tigers. ha, but don't you think its rather powerful for a women to be able to control a beast that bows to no one. ha, guess i'd rather not be such a women. since i'll probably die from heartbreak after seeing the beast die. lol=D

exams are 1 day away from being over! I cannot wait! pls pls pls. let me have enough time to finsh my biz law. i have totally given up hope on that. my week has been spent wasting time staring at my book, watching tv and playing stupid games. i need to get away from everything. a holiday would be good. but, maybe now would be a bad timing. haiz. for december, i should seriously concentrate on finishing up my practical lessons, catching up with ALL my frens and hopefully, reflect on my life so far by getting a little spiritual.. haha, i was serious abt the last part.

thank you lord!

there was a miracle in fm! and my weight is 44kg(in my weighing machine at least!)..

i seriously hate fm rite now.. that stupid discovery finance will bring my grades to really really low and there goes absolutely any chance of me getting an A! i really want to do well. maybe grp work somehow isn't my cup of tea. well, i don't know. maybe we were just terribly unlucky.

so its one day left to IT and it'll be bye bye IT forever! ha, i think the questions seem more digestible now but sometimes i have like 4 sentences to write for a ten mark question. geez, thats going to be a problem man!

i'm really really scared right now. IT is in 3 days and I'm still really unprepared about the whole thing. the questions make me wanna puke, the content to cover could be just about anything and i seem to really need a lot of help. i need to do this.

am i stupid or am i stupid. everything happens in front of my eyes, and i keep choosing to take the easy way out by ignoring everything. its awful feeling like the bad guy. that you might unknowingly hurt someone else and you just dunno what to do about it. if only my life wasn't dependent on what others think and how they judge who i am. there's just too much at stake.


i need to feel again.

so much to thank for! acct project and assignment was way beyond anything i would have dreamed of.. biz law wasn't as bad as a i thought. school's over.. i get to sleep in the morning, my stomach's flat! wat more! i'm really thankful!

my brownies turned out better than i would have ever guessed! (well, except for the nuts part)

=)

how did everything become so goomy in a matter of days?

COMM FUNDAMENTALS IS OFFICIAL OUT FO MY LIFE!!! yay!!! it was one of my worst performance and i totally screwed my written assignment but at least, i don't have to touch it till next year. but i guess this shitty grade was made up by my 30/30 for fm! FULL MARKS YEAH! ha, i've never seen full marks since like wat, sec school? haha.. was so happy! at least, i'm glad i'm not laggng behind those all As people.

i'm still broke. need money.

I'm glad this week is over. Done with fm, biz law, accounting and fm projects. Its just the group presentation next week and comm fundamentals will be officially off my life. well, at least for this year. I've been trying to seriously think of what would attract students to NBS. its not as easy as it looks. hope i dun screw it up, knowing that she's bias towards me and will grade me well if i dun suck.

driving's been pretty great too. like all of a sudden, i'm doing well and i did 3 circuit lessons in one day! can u imagine? =) i din book lessons for whole of november since it'll be like close to exams. hopefully i dun forget all the stuff.

went g2000 today to buy my suit. let me see. one blazer, 3 long sleeved shirts, 1 skirt and 1 pants. a total of $306. I was having a heartache but just consoled myself by saying that its an investment. i din wanna ask from my parents since i think they'll be having quite a huge sum (really huge sum!) of expenses this month.so, i'm broke to bits.

spare change anyone? i'll pole dance if you want!

i thought it was right..

oh wells, i'm still feeling blessed!

met jp,kok,xt,joel,bob n kenny for dinner at holland v just now.. we were trying to be adventurous and went for mexican food. ha, but we couldn't read anything and we just randomly chose the food. but it was rather good. and then we went to nydc for mudpie.. yummy! the guys were just pissing us off with army talks.. and jp and xt kept telling me how sad their life was in nus. i think i should be glad that at least i have some people i can talk to.

i have strangely began watching rugby and man do i love it! its like football but well, more interesting i suppose. since there are more goals and more action.. i like all blacks, not because their the best but because they are distinctive and play with so much life! ha, plus the fact that i've seen the whole all blacks craze in nz before.. its 2.30am on a sunday morning now and i'm staying up watching rugby! gosh!

last week has been unexpectedly great. fm wasn't as bad as i expected. neither was IT. and oral presentation was strangely good as well. i mean, i hated it but the teacher seemed to love it..shouldn't complain i guess. acct mid terms next week. its really really impt. so i better do well since i screwed my quiz.

driving's been such a pain. i hate slopes. i absolutely cannot stop at slopes and i'm probably going to fail because of that! my lessons are going really slowly cuz i cannot drive properly on slopes. i hate slope. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slope. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slope. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slope. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slope. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slope. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes. i hate slopes.
AARRRHHHH!!!

i haven't exercised in a week. feel really fat and disgusted with myself.. i keep imagining myself with wobbly bits of fats everywhere. gosh, i have a problem!

so its schools again.. and what a way to start it when u go to class at 8.30 on a bloody monday morning and find out that your tutor is sick. 2 hours of totally doing nothing. no motivation to do work. no motivation for anything at all. accting is getting extremely annoying and fm tutorial is freaking long. plus my oral presentation on thursday. darn. i hope i dun screw it. and also, the stupid IT test is coming. what exactly are we supposed to study? no clues. its going to be acct e-learning tmr so i'm not going to bother going to school since biz law lectures are usually quite useless for me. yay! can sleep until late!!!

on other news, something rather unusual happened under my block today. basically, all the residents in blk 544 jelapang road decided to gather near the void deck and give petition against the proposed child care centre that is going to be built there. i have no qualms about any childcare centre but the issue for me was one of safety. cuz the construction took up the whole void deck and there was no shelter to walk under. we had to walk outside the pathway, always in fear of death by a bamboo pole or potted plant. it was like the first time i ever saw the residents so united over a cause. some even suggested building the childcare centre on top of the multi storey carpark. what exactly were they thinking? the minister, who happens to be our mp also came and i guess was quite overwhelmed by the size of the crowd. there were even policemen there. and the minister was pretty rational and seemed to make sense. he was pretty humble and even apologised for not informing residents earlier about the childcare centre. so now, we have to wait while he assesses the situation and sees if our void deck is really the best place for a childcare centre. it was quite sad to see the rc chairman getting some blame from the residents. i dun think they should really complain given the fact that they only are concerned when it affects them directly and leave the rest of the dirty work to the rc. if they want to make some changes, join rc lah! but seriously, its pretty disturbing to see how selfish some singaporeans are. they care only about themselves and don't bother even when they see others in misery. from the public transport i take in the morning to the queues at the foodcourt at night, there's absolutely no courtesy among singaporeans. they shove you aside and slam the door in your face like you're invisible. the young people pretend to sleep or just dun even bother to give up their seats when they see a mother wth her small kids or a really old women. it just makes me so disgusted and is seemingly adding to my list of reasons on why i should migrate to somewhere else.

kok is giving another attempt at a gathering. yeah, when koks fly! i do wanna meet them. its so sian in school that you just need to hang out with people outside schoolso as to not feel the stress. haiz. what's happening?

can't believe its recess already.. though it feels nothing like it.. i've like two free days in the whole week.. gee, that's really great.. there are like major so many things going on now, i can't keep pace with everything. and its been way too many incidents to write.. nah, i'm just lazy.. bleah.. but yeah, i'm still feeling things are getting a whole lot better now. just in general i suppose. maybe it comes with accepting that this is how things are gonna be from now.


rite now, i need time to study.

I"M SUCH AN UNPRODUCTIVE FAT SLOB!!

even though i said i wouldn't go for atc, i just simply couldn't resist it. kept thinking about it from wednesaday, with leong woon constantly bugging me to come for campfire.. so i ponned IT in the morning (no regrets!) to pack and went for comm fundamentals just to get the damn attendance. then had to endure the long ride from boon lay to changi village. damn lucky for me, as i was at the jetty rite beofre they took off. if not i would have had to wait for like 45 mins!

pretty strange since there wasn't like anyone i knew down there.. most were the newbies and it felt wierd talking to them, since many had that cold, fierce look. sometimes, it was hard to determine whether they were younger or older than me.. haha..there were like five old birds including me. so, quite sad lah. can see that the standard had dropped and it took a lot to prevent ourselves from interfering too much, since at the end of the day it was their planning. but, i guess overall, no major screw ups, pretty decent.


had been talking to sok fang before that, cuz she was trying to convince me to become ho. i had thought abt it, given serious consideration but after the camp, i've realised that its not for me. it feels restrictive being an officer, allowing the cis to get into the real action and just watching from afar. maybe i'll go back, unit and area.. but as a ci, not a ho.

and so left with lw in the morning, he had lessons and i had driving. so sad for him, cuz after he had rushed like crazy, found that got no lesson.. haha.. so, guess i was the only one who benefitted--> free ride from him!=) got some barcadi breezer from cheers as they were having a discount. and the stupid saleswomen thought i was underage. rushed for driving once i reached home. pretty boring since we were just rounding bukit batok like another gazillion times and my instructor din really teach much. once i returned home, finished the discove finance project and took a nap, which turned out to be for 18 hours! haha, feel super high right now.

finished biz law hmwk pretty fast and now, need to do accounting. and got quiz next week.. so its back to mugger mode..

i'm glad i feel happier!=)

finished my stage 1 at last! was pretty smooth in the roads, other than the two times i stalled after panicking over i have no idea wat. has been a really tiring week. sleeping for 3-4 hours a day is really taking the toll on my body. mum's been trying to make me take supplements. she's going nuts! i need a serious break. work keeps piling more and more every week. running is my only medicine and it feels really great.

tmr's atc. and i'll be stuck in school. how i wish i could be there. then again, i can only wish.

seems to have so many things on these days. driving, tuition, cca on top of all the crazy amount of work that i have. i'm lost in fm and accounting's not any better. i'd probably start crying if it weren't for business law. biz law is great. maybe if there was some specialisation in biz law, i'll take it.. hmm is there one? i seem to have almost zero social life nowadays. ntu ppl dun have the habit of going out after lessons(unless you stay in hall).. so its quite boring, almost like a routine. go to school, study, come back home. gosh! i need more to life.. seriously!!! on a better note, i'll be meeting yvon tmr to go for a jog.. i really really need to run.. have to maintain stamina. and did i mention ntu gym is a piece of junkshit? there's no air con in the weights room and the cardio is just filled with guys who stare at you, thinking you came to the wrong place. and the weights are just crammed everywhere. it looks really like a dumpster, for all the rusting and unwanted weights. grrrz...


also, date with my babes on fri.. thank god for that!

just more and more work.. i'm starting to slack a bit and thats quite scary. have to use these weekend to catch up. now, seems like i'd prefer afternoon lessons seeing that all cca starts after 5.30pm.. so i have to spend a lot of time in the library.. i think its quite a good place to study actually.. just quite a pain having to walk from south spine all the way to north. today was union day. stupil shit. we still had lessons because the teacher din let us skip. i wonder how much she thought we'll be missing in a wasteful lesson like comm fundamentals. crazy i say! met petrina for lunch. had a pretty good chat. feels good to have ppl who still think of you even after going each other's own seperate ways. and after class, went for hip hop fusion with yvonne. haha, it was seriously hilarious! i cannot dance and my attempts at trying to do a body wave kept failing terribly. need to practise my steps man..but still, its pretty cool.


yesterday, managed to drive on public roads. i was freaking quite a bit cuz it seemed a bit fast to hit the roads, seeing i never even had a proper signalling lesson. but it turned out quite alrite. i stalled the engine like 3 times in the road and was super slow at starting the car. must practice finding the biting point. my test is like on 4 jan. so i dun think need to rush thru now. ha, driving is fun.. rather addictive.

Its great to have fri as a free day. ucan really make use of the time to catch up with things u weren't able to do that week. i had my first driving prac today. i noe, its abit late. ha.. wasn't too bad.. just that i've to make sure i never wear running shoes. couldn't feel any of the pedals.. it was like guess work. completed 3 lessons so, can book my test date next lesson. yipee!! then headed for the gym. its much more peaceful in the morning. i think i'm still losing weight even though i'm doing more weights. i'm slightly more than 45, and thats not supposed to be the case. ha, just hope i dun turn unhealthy. and have you realised, its been raining forever these days. esp whenever i forget to bring my umbrella. sianz. there's so much tutorials and reading to do. better get started...

haha. yay! at last. typing this entry using my very own notebook. woohooooz! i think i'm adapting to sch. its not the happiest place to be but i'll survive. there's already projects and assignments. i've been trying to be a serious nerd and study. pretty proud of myself so far since i've done every tutorial and read every chapter that has been taught. *proud smiling face stares into the screen. i just hope everything goes by well and i can get a good honours. hard work it will be but with faith, anything is possible.

i think i like business. =)

i have no idea why but i've been mugging like crazy for the past few days. i had holiday from thurs to sun and i've been doing work like almost 80% of the time. what is wrong with me?

financial statements are such a pain. my eyes have been wandering around them for three hours now. and i've FINALLY finished my accounting 1 tutorial. real accomplishment i must say. so ntu's alrite i guess. ppl aren't that cheena or boring. but haven't really made any frens. just hanging on to old ones (very few indeed) and trying to make new. hasn't been all easy since i can't really find ppl of the same frequency. i just tell myself that the days of ac and st.marg's are long gone. =( so, i hang out with random ppl in tutorial group and make my way around uni in solitude. i dun see why its necessary to tug someone around for everything.

am i afraid to be lonely? not anymore. i think

i'm scared.

NTU Freshmen Welcome went as i had expected it to. speech after speech before they had some performances. and somehow, i think i prefer the speeches at ac. it made more sense and it felt close to the heart. NTU seems pretty cold, with no one really bothering about each other, everyone just being comfortable with their own selves. maybe its because its just the beginning but i expect things to improve. slightly depressing was the fact, that i saw zero good looking guys. no kiddings. not many girls were lookers too. most of them had a sian, nerdy look and that makes me pretty worried. plus the fact that i saw 4 ac girls. the only one who i knew being my classmate. seriously, where do these ppl come from??

now, i can't decide between a Fujitsu Lifebook S6410U and a Lenovo Thinkpad X61. i want to order by monday. anyone wants to help me decide?

only a few days left to sch. have been trying to get stuff but like i'm clueless at times. cuz i dunno how big a bag i should get and what kind of clothes to buy. but still, i'll be going shopping tmr!=)

was shopping today. courtesy of mum. got some clothes. one of my shopping finds was this tube dress, sweet pink and purple. love at first touch. it felt like royalty!=) ha.. but unfortunately, it was only in size 2 and thus, a little too big. but what i felt really terrible about was that the boobs part din fit. first time in my life that i din have enough boobs to hold the tube in place! goshz!! but i loved the dress so much that i still bought it. maybe some push ups?

HARRY POTTER SPOILER ALERT!
(do not proceed if you haven't read it yet)






ok, so i've warned you. Anyway, I had to write about it because it will be such a fabulous way to end the journey. jk rowling is plain genius for the way she answers most of the questions from the previous book. there is action from the very start when they rescue harry from privet drive and it seemed to get very dark, with voldy's rise in power. the whole deathly hallows thing seemed quite out of place in the book at first, but nearer the end, everything seemed to make sense. and like i predicted, harry din die and snape was good. i had heard of the harry being an horcrux theory as well as the theory of snape being in love with lily. i thought the second one was a bit far fetched, but hah, how wrong i was. the only part that got me damn emotional was the snape' story. it was hard wrenching when snape asked harry to look into his eyes. and ha, rowling seemed like she was on a death rage. death from the beginning to the end. and ppl who were rather close to the heart were dying so easily. some i thought, were unnecessary.


while the book was fantastic the epilogue sucked. i was hoping to find out what happened to the whole magical world nineteen years later but we only saw harry ron hermoine and ginny with their kids. and the names were so cheesy. i was rolling my eyes!



so it comes to an end. but like dumbledore said,

"I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me."



harry potter is the boy who lived, and will live forever.

i've been feeling increasingly miserable nowdays. and its been hard trying to express myself. i've been trying to act like everything's normal and it's just making things worst. i feel like i'm isolating myself, quite strange actually. and my cheerfulness is almost non-existant. i wonder, will things be like that from now on?


i want to cry so badly.





ps. harry potter and the deathly hallows is plain genius. i'll write about it some other time.

its so fucked up starting uni like this. with absolutely no frens there, i was hoping that at least orientation can help me find some new frens. but somehow, everyone just wants to reject me. its super ridiculous. how often do u hear anyone saying they got rejected from orientation! what's the purpose of orientation then! i've been feeling so bloody frustrated these few days desperately hoping for a place in some orientation. my handphone's around me even in the toilet with the ringing volume at top level! but the stupid shitholes of ntu can't be bothered. right now, my impression of them is at an all time low. thanks so much NTU for helping me start my life there as a loner!

to add to the misery, argentina went down to brazil 3-0 at copa america. victory to underdogs!=(

kinda feeling damn foul today.

firstly, order of pheonix the movie sucks. it was like watching clips of a very long story that just tell u the important parts. OOTP the book was pretty long winded so i guess the movie kinda shortened parts of it. but i seriously expected more for the last scene. something like they going thru all the different doors at the department of mysteries and ron getting strangled by the brain. =0 in the movie, it was like as if you open the department of mysteries door and you get straight to the prophecy room.?#!$% and the position of the veil, or the misty door as it seemed like in the movie was damn stupid. like anybody who was fighting could have just slipped into it. the women playing bellatrix lestrange was worth watching for every second of her screen time and i really expected a longer duel between her and sirius. it seemed like every character was having a cameo role. what a waste of some brilliant actors. the women playing umbridge was great in her role, with all those pink fur and cats. dumbledore semmed to jumpy and din posess the grandeur that he was potrayed as in the book. and there was almost no dumbledore-potter time in the movie. the last scene of explaining the prophecy was almost non-existant. it din say much about the imminent doom facing harry or about why dumbledore never told him about it. OOTP the movie din do justice to the book. =(


nbs camp din reply to me. going by what i gather from ppl i noe, seems as if they only chose ppl who they deemed pretty. i may be just speculating but they haven't mentioned anything about balloting to choose the applicants. its really funny why they can't cater to about a 1000 students when even jcs can do that. now, guess have to wait for union camp to see if i was luckier there. what a way to start uni life. this is just great.

i'm feeling super sore from gymming yest. those flabby triceps of mine need serious work.

A sudden impulse to do this one after reading athena'a blog.

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off. In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right, and you can get quite angry about it. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

its less than two weeks before school starts. well at least nbs foc. dun think i'll go for the union one cuz i have no time to rest and i need to read harry potter 7!! yes!!! its potter mania rite now. should go book tix already. other than that, i'm just trying to get my life back to normal times.. i'm trying to wake up early and do more work.i've to clear all my drawers and its quite a horror seeing how filthy they are. and i should hit the gym more. better get into shape before school starts.

watched v for vendetta just now. regret not watching it sooner.

i'm surprised i din update for so long. seeing that i've been online most of the while.
updates:


medical checkup at ntu went fine. but i was feeling so distraught after seeing the kind of ppl who were going to acct. most looked like nerdbags with a bad dressing sense. it was so unlike the ppl i've come across in ac or st.marg's. i mean, its not like they weren't nice. they just seemed a little too quiet for my taste. liked they'll be happy being cooped up in their own corner with their own same kind of frens. it makes me so scared thinking how i'm going to include myself among them. i really dun want to be a loner. oh god, i need help.

passed my final theory:) was quite scared cuz i din study for the test, so i took a practice session rite before the test and my good fortune, the questions for the practice and the real thing was quite similar. now i just have to wait for august for my driving prac lessons. sian, so long.

transformers is way above expectations. its serious adrenaline pumping from start to end and with a fairly simple storyline, even the transformer suckers can understand what is goign on. and pretty hilarious as well. a tad bit long and draggy but definitely worth your 8 bucks.

re-read order of phoenix. and going by the movie trailer, i seriously doubt the storyline will be quite the same. it has too much voldemort. kinda funny when there was a scene of voldemort in a suit at hogwarts station. i guess, its just to enhance the entertainment value. and i never expected kingsley shaklebolt to look like some tribal gypsy man. and not black at the very least. tonks looks alrite and luna lovegood doesn't look as loony as expected. oooh..can't wait for it..


going for treetop walk and ndp rehearsal tmr(thanx to cuz). athena's going m'sia and pravz probably packing now. haiz. better get used to it.

someone played a prank on me yesterday. but i dunno who. this guy called me up and said he got my no. from ac and that they were organising some kinda treasure hunt at ngee ann city and that they needed ppl to participate. so darn wierd ah. when i questioned him on details, he kinda lost it. he said was from 8 days mag and i checked it out. no such crap. i still have the handphone no. checked with the usual suspects. negative. but i'll get to the bottom of it!

anyway, i've decide on nbs and union camp.

all the orientation stuff arrived.. spoilt for choice. narrowed down to the nbs camp, union camp and the sports camp. but i can't decide any further cuz there's so little details about the camps. all the phamplets look the same. just group pictures with comments from seniors. doesn't really help since everything is positive. going thru the pictures, i realised that nbs has the most good looking people in the whole of ntu. geez.

my uncle's 60th birthday yesterday. people i din seem to know that much. the occasional hellos during family gatherings and thats it. quite a pity because i seem to have nothing to talk about, even to my cousins whom i have spent hours playing with in the past. everyone seems so different. and i have no words. somehow, it just seems to be me. the one who is so loud around friends but when it comes to her kins, its such a different picture. and i keep thinking maybe 20-30 years down the road, there'll be no gatherings, no festive visits, no chalets, no trips. it'll just be me all alone.

passed evaluation. barely.

found a sudden interest in neopets. i noe what your're thinking. but its fun to play those kid games. not like i might have the time to do this in the future. so all the more, i should live the last of my teenage years to the extreme. rather happy that i'm gymming more often these days. 4.85km in 30 mins. was pretty satisfied. need to hit 5km in 30 mins in case i do sports in ntu. speaking of ntu, i'm filling in my application booklet. can't decide whether to take a new pic or use the one i have. mom was telling me to get a new one despite the current one being only one month old. crazy! and i did catch pirates one more time. depp is just too irresistable. i feel like seeing fantastic four cuz the silver surfer looks pretty cool. and transformer cuz the trailer was cool. hah..

need $$$.

final theory evaluation tmr. din really study but i can't seem to care.

while admiring dear johnny on tv, i couldn't help but notice a striking similarity with him and T-Bag, the guy from PrisonBreak.



Check it out:

i have probably gained 2kg of fats by now.

i've spent the whole day eating and eating and you guessed it, eating. lunch with edwina. ed was like, "lunsh set is cheap now! only 15 bucks!" ouch, running on major deficit. kinda nice to see her after such a long time.. sad though, since two of my best frens are in smu. hah! fate. then haagen to see half my babe with lw. poor lw had to go put parking coupons like every half an hour because of us. double scoop ice cream with double toppings! they had screwed up names like desirable and devine for their menus. then to crystal jade to eat more dumplings. and back at home, still had to eat dinner. i'll be grossly obese in no time.

got my daddy's father's day gift yest. was some belt and wallet set which was freakin ex. i forgot the brand. broke like shit.

there's so many things to do. clean my room(surprise!), run more often, meet friends, study for final theory, buy presents, buy new bags and shoes, watch more dvds, clear up on np stuff and i'm still confused abt what i should do abt driving. only slightly more than 1.5 months left. i need to spend this time as carefree as i can because after this, it'll be back to the serious stuff. not looking forward to it, but i'm keeping my spirits high!

it might be a decision i will regret making but for now, it looks like the right one. i feel quite at a lost. if i hadn't gotten the smu offer, i would have just accepted my fate and gone to lead a solitude life. but, when it came to making a choice, it became so much harder than expected. it was a choice between whether i wanted to be happy in the company of good friends or get the more reputable degree with an incentive in terms of time and cost. it was like flipping a coin. one min smu the next ntu and back to smu. having nights of insomnia, with uni application always in the back of my mind. i guess now i can put it all to rest.

ntu it will be, at least for the next 3 years. what i make out of it, time will tell.

why is it that i'm never good enough for you! why do you keep reminding me that i screwed my As every time i screw something else? i'm sorry that i'm stupid and not your 4As with S papers student. i'm sorry that i keep embarrassing you in front of your friends with their scholarship holding sons and daughters.

you are all i live for. and that really hurts.

jealousy is such a horrible feeling!

why do i feel so envious when i see others doing better than me. when they have everything that I want. brains, looks, happiness. it feel terribly unfair when i see how a single exam can change your life so much!

there is no point in this post.

just makes me a little sad that things had to end up that way. you criticise and complain. you tell it straight to our faces that we suck. i noe we do. and i'm okay with you saying we suck. but why put that tone for, as if you're talking to your cadets. i'm not saying i want to be your buddy. trust me, not even close. but i'm just asking you to treat me like i matter. you choose to gain authority with your rank. so what if you hold a higher rank. i'll give you the respect you deserve if i can see what you are worth. you treat me so miserably, what care and concern? its bullshit when u dun practice what you preach! i am not weak! i wun cry if you scold me, if that is what you think i was going to do today. i dun need you to make your words sound rosy. because i do the same with my cadets. but, u keep blaming us. putting us down when mostly we felt let down by the system. we had little guidance as cadets, slightly more as NCOs and as CIs. we just din come from the generation that you did. we know! and you know that! so why dun u try to understand that and help us. you can draw a line from us. but not to the extend that you become so rigid and unapproachable. what is your style? right now, only you know it. let go of that ego and that old school methods and work with us. HAND IN HAND!


class gathering. wasn't terrible. just a little short i guess. haiz.

for the first time in an extremely long time, i went below the 47 kg mark! woohoo!!!

when i was almost trying to accept the fact that i'll be a no life freak, they do this to me!!



heart vs mind

on a happier note, pirates was awesome!! worth it for the every bit of the 8 bucks!




johnny, you keep seducing me!

rafa, I HATE YOU!

you failed from the very start. a line up that left many wondering why there were two wingers with no striker to provide the aerial threat. dirk kuyt made to look like an idiot, running tirelessly after the ball with no real aim. milan had it simple. no crouchy, no threat! what were you thinking? that kuyt at 1.84m could do absolutely nothing against the likes of maldini. and when you finally came to your senses, it was too late. way too late. now, how many times have we seen the same situation of you fielding dear crouchy for the last 15 mins hoping for a miracle. statistics don't lie rafa.

mascherano. the man who wowed me in the blue and white stripes of argentina. he was awesome, he did his job. he did it way too well. after he was substituted, you have kaka contributing to another goal. zenden. a tremendous workrate comes up to nothing when you haven't got the skills. the whole kop was against him. could you not hear their kewell cheer when he played? what were you thinking?

maybe you dun love the club as much as the rest of us.

we weren't outclassed.
we handed it to milan.

POP 07 ended not too badly. It was like an official farewell to some CIs as well i guess. Kinda wierd cuz i doubt i won't be given any more work to do. like lw said, we are now freelance CIs. was a little bit emotional when i had to make the impromptu speech. embarrassed. and thanks to the newbies for their farwell stuffs! it means a lot!

i chose ntu acct. I'd rather do a professional degree in 3 yrs than a general degree in 4 years. and i'll save like 10k. i just hope its not as cheena as it is made out to be and that i can find my group of frens. sadly i can't find many ac ppl in acct. i need to seriously expand my social circle. when did i loose my charm??

did shopping. had to buy contacts. anyone knows where I can get cheap coloured contacts? those daily ones?? went to watch 28 weeks later. really not as bad as i would have expected. new shoes.. replenished my makeup. but all this means i'm broke right now.

Pirates date with half my babes=) and lw. I can't wait!!!

Please select the course you wish to accept:

NTU - Accountancy

NUS - Business Administration

SMU - Bachelor of Business Management

Reject all Offers of Admission

yay! 100% for basic theory evaluation.

i did my mum a handmade card. with magazines and stuff. got her some mabelline gloss lipstick. she was complaining abt the colour, saying its too light and about how it probably suited me better. *winks. had tuition in the morning and i was contemplating whether to go for the second ntu hi tea. din in the end. instead, i went to my granny's place. it just din make sense to me cuz my dad told me, my mum and sis to visit grandma for mother's day. but isn't she his mother?? anyway, we bought this choc cake for her. freakin sinful but it felt real good eating a piece of choc cake after a long time. and we all went for dinner. so, quite a day well spent i believe. just that, now i'm back to being fat.

i'm still being snubbed by smu. and i'm disliking them more and more for that. maybe i should just screw my social life and go to ntu.

i don't want to learn driving. dad's been forcing me to and it sucks. i like being driven around, not drive. urgh!

quite the same these few days. managed to catch spidey with my babes. best out of the three but it din leave an impression. i can't really remember much, maybe there was way too much happening (mind you, it was 140 mins). funny thing, this girl who was sitting to my left was sobbing. hah, it was rather a wierd moment cuz i couldn't see what was so depressing. it wasn't like korean drama or something. and speaking of korean dramas, i've been trying ban my mum from renting or buying those stuff. it just feels a little uneasy that my mum is more attracted to those sappy chic dramas than me. darnz.

work starts soon. better enjoy my last week as a free birdie.

uefa champions league semi final- second leg:

LIVERPOOL 1

CHELSEA 0

(Aggregate 1-1, Liverpool wins 4-1 on penalties)

LIVERPOOL IS GOING TO ATHENS!!!

SEVENTH TIME BABY!!! yay. it was fucking nerve wrecking watching the whole 120+ mins. Kopites are bound to die of heart attacks, trust me. but it was sheer class, that agger goal. cech is real bad with those low balls. somehow, i still dun respect rafa, because the game could have gone either way. but credit be to the twelth man!!

The Dance Floor is finally over. despite the supposedly poor viewer ratings, i thought it was almost excellent. the final five were marvellous. show wins hands down compared to other reality shows like singapore idol or superstar. congrats to vas and pris! they were really sweet to watch. they have the likeability factor and they really amaze the audience with their waltz and tango, doing wat they do as just 17 and 18 yr olds. yes, no kiddings.

auditions

the magic waltz

final

i just had an issue with the votings i guess. somehow, such competitions which allow voting often becomes a popularity contest. singaporeans aren't really ready for it yet. just look at american idol. would you expect the same people who remain to be at the top 6 if the show was held in singapore? i truly doubt so.

give credit when it is due.

on a side note, jade is a bad presenter! her dress (the black tube which had some fragments of a wedding gown stuck to the bottom) was awful.

there seems to be just one thing on my mind these days. uni application. i've probably bored everyone with it but i really can't get over it. especially since its going to decide my whole future. given the fact that i got my ntu letter, everyone thinks i should just shut up and be happy. and i believe there will be those who will be swearing if they found out i managed to do what they couldn't with their 3/4 As. that part is still a mystery to me. but why should i complain anyway? and i dun think i'll be going for tmr's high tea. wasn't too interested and i have to teach tuition anyway. so i'm still hoping smu accepts my application. ppl keep asking me why smu? i feel i'll be happier in smu, where i feel i'll get more opportunities and flexibilty. i guess its just a decision i'm making with my heart. i dun know whether it'll be the right one but it looks like the right place for me at the moment. i can't stand the wait.


some new job at cpf. thanks to piggy.=) the pays not fantastic but its like 2km from my house. so, why not huh? starts i think early may or something like that. so i guess i should just start spending my break more meaningfully. haha, meaning i need to stop sleeping 12 hours a day and spending all my time on the net. i've been trying to gym more frequently nowadays. like two days once. i think its getting better. cross country dist (3.2km) in under 20 mins isn't too bad i think. i'm targetting 5km in 45 min. i think i want to do sports in uni. at least it'll keep be trim. i need to lose all my flab before going to uni. at least then, ppl wun come asking me why i've lost weight.

was standing in the bus yesterday. bus was pretty crowded and i was just looking around casually. then, this indian women(who was with her son), was staring at me, like i was some vixen, out to seduce a little boy. she was seriously trying to gun me down with her look. i was just getting very pissed off. why the hell would i fuckin want to touch her son. for one, he's indian. well, i mean india-born indian. no offence to anyone. and secondly, he looks younger then me. what the hell was her problem? its the kind of look that reads "you-are-out-of-my-son's-league. so fuck off!" wtf.

anyway, my mum just threw at me the nus package that came in the mail. its big and bulky. business administration, as expected. but, i guess its just thrash to me now. *not intended to sound proud or anything. SMU, CAN YOU HEAR ME CALLING OUT ???

got another letter from ntu inviting for some hi-tea. seriously, i do not know a single person who is going to do accountancy there. yea, i noe my social life hasn't been all too great. so, i'm still looking for that someone to go with.

the annoying part, it wrote" you are one of our top candidates who have been offered a place in ntu.."- dude, i barely made it. i noe. what the hell is your problem.

so, anybody going to ntu this sunday???

decided i needed a change from the flower layout.. seemed too nice-unlike me. i've been trying like hell to get the posts come out left aligned, but with my amateur html skills, it's just been another attempt in vain. bored shit at home. but trust me, i'm in no hurry to go to work. maybe i shouldn't.. ha, i'll just wait and see.

acceptance letter for ntu accountancy came today morning.

is that good news?

went for the last parade of the term. its was in some way a really solemn affair personally. not like i cried or anything but it felt like i was leaving behind something that had once been a great part of me. a place where i learnt, taught, discovered.

somehow, the passion's dying. i can't deny that. years of trying to make an impact, hoping that the cadets will learn to love the unit as much as we once did.. that they see why we resort to scolding/punishing.. but i'm lost for words. did i really change anything? was i just one of those CIs who were there to demand and not earn the respect of the cadets? truth is, i have no answers.

all i can say is, i tried my best.

pretty satisfied with myself right now. interview went way better than i thought. was one to one, actually a professor and a student to me. no funny wierd quesions. just seemed like a normal conversation i would have with anyone. they looked pleased.so, i'm just keeping my fingers crossed. hee..

the fact that i'm happy makes me wanna indulge more. spent 100 buckes on some new apparels. damn, if only there were some promotions around this time.

happy=)

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

today was last day of work. seems they dun require my services anymore. ha, bet they dun. esp since i do more work than some of them. well, i'm not sad or anything. a little pissed that it was such short notice but still not sad at all. maybe its time for a break. go gym more and shop even more.

i forgot to mention earlier. got shortlisted for smu sch of acct interview. this coming thursday. i'm trying not to freak. this is my one chance. screwing it is not an option. i haven't failed in an interview yet. Oh Lord, let this not be the first!

been busy trying to study everything related to acct. i'm even reading business times. it looked totally greek at first but after looking at it each day, it kinda makes a little more sense. araggh!! need to study!!

it makes me wonder sometimes. how some people can be so simple. in the way they think, the way they connect with others, the way they lead their lifes, while others continue to be in their endless pursuit for power, wealth and glory. and in the course of it, sometimes backstab, lie and bitch. having friends from both sides, i find myself always standing closer to the second kind. maybe its the fact that i am in a way materialistic and superficial myself, albeit i've never been proud of it. now, i don't want anyone to think i'm a super-evil, thrash talking mean shit. if you've read my postings in the past, i believe you know that i've been making a conscious effort to change. and i think i've changed 10% of myself. might not seem like a lot, but its been real hard. so, when i see those simple-minded people, i just can't comprehend their behaviour. it seems so unnatural to me even though they seem majorly comfortable being who they are. so, i asked one of them about it. and the answer i got,

"dunno. i never thought i was simple-minded wat."

wtf.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GATHER FROM THAT!!! how the hell would someone not know that he or she is so straightforward and undemanding! they act as if its an inborn nature to not decieve and complicate things. and maybe that i am the one with such a sinful nature. i noe every man is a sinner. but it makes me look like i sinned way too much to ever get redemption.

still trying

another week of boring work.. so bored that i'm bringing books and magazines to read. well, as long as i'm not ill-treated or unpaid, i'll be fine.

took the sec 2s for third class yesterday. some with potential..mostly bland.. had expected better from them.. i guess maybe its the thing about test and stuff.. you just get nervous and break down! haiz, i've done wat i can.

had to rush back home for my cousin's ROM. well, i have to admit, did a lil bit of dolling up.. ha.. luckily my sis din call me a drag this time round. but it was like going out dressed nicely after like so many months.. after prom actually. so i couldn't resist putting in that extra effort, and not to forget, the cash..

i like my hair. a little bitchy i guess.

but too bad. i still think i'm pretty in that. And to all of you who think i am vain and ugly, fuck off.

anyways, i got paid for tuition today. yipeee!! got my new gym bag and bought another apparel.. i need to stop splurging!!!


as another week approaches, i'm dreading having to see those bad-mouthing, two-faced hypocrites. sianz.

dun worry! i haven't died.

w0rk's just getting the hell out of me. 8.30 to 6 is terrible. i will never work in the civil service!! and i can't really blog much abt it cuz i had to sign a confidentialty staement.

did most of my applications. acct, business, systems engin.. well, i guess any one of the three would be satisfactory. i know i haven't really talked much abt my results. just don't want to, or it'll end up making me feel more fucked up than i already am.

my social life is suffering major badly!(excuse my eng) weekends are like filled with tuition, family visits, np and the gym. i hate my life! i feel like throwing away everything. the only thing that seems to be cheering me at the moment is the thought of catching up with my babes tmr. it'll be another agm which i am dreading so much and then it'll be babes time!! yay!!!

anyways, i'm still putting on weight. =)

regret and disappointment.

ABBB b3


drats.

working is a tiring. this week has just been hell. work was rather sianning. i mean, its really boring work but guess, can't epect so much with just an o level cert on hand at the moment. had to rush for UTC on friday.. din sleep the whole camp. its just annoyig that the cadets were more tired than the CIs when they actually had at least had some sleep!! this girls are extremely weak. like those typical st.marg's girls who fucking pissed me off in the past. they better toughen up or they'll all get killed durig atc. well, that wouldn't be too much of a bad thing i suppose. after that, instead of sleeping, i watched that liverpool sheffield match. damn waste time, with the dubious sheffield defenders who posed absolutely no challenge. then, today i had to rush for tuition.. kinda screwed some parts of it.. especially when they started asking me abt teh light chanpter. i mean, the last time that i ever learnt that was like in sec school!! but, being the genius that i am*ahems, somehow managed the situation. and the, tmr, its back to work.. everything's so mundane.

i need something more in my life!!!

will be starting work from tomorrow. yay, $$$!!!!

coming soon : praveena and her hot body

lol.=P

this is like the worst vday ever. i have absolutely no one for company. haha, but funnily, i'm not exactly sad. indulged in some sinful food while trying to shrug off the few couples holding hands, acting all mushy. somehow, i think there are too few couples out on vdae. evidence on how overrated it has become. and how happy i get when i see a hot guy looking like he doesn't have vdae plans!!=) was talking to piggy and we were saying how we would probably celebrate our 20th anniversary of being dateless on vdae together next yr. oh, how i hope that doesn't happen.

so, praveena naidu, stop being all obnoxious and egoistic around guys you like and try acting a little humble, shy and feminine. or it'll really be another dateless vday next yr.

i guess i only have the gym of company on V-day!




darn.

oh, anyway, got a job at lta. wif my dear babe's help! =)

was feeling like i couldn't be any more broken. still lil bit miserable. but i guess, i cannot do anything if its not supposed to be so.

i fucking hate myself for this!

went to gym today. second time in a week. so, hopefully i'll make it a routine. thankfully, even after months of not having any exercise, still managed to pretty much do everything decently well.. hah, best part was i outbeat this guy in the abdominals part. fuck, should have seen the look on his face when he saw me adding more weights. hah, i was gleeing in my mind.

seems som guys are really chauvinistic pigs!! can't bear to see a girl doing better, especially when it concerns strength. at one point when i was doing the cycling machine and this guy was doing in beside me. i just happened to be peddling faster than him and he kept looking at my side to see how fast i was going and was keep on trying to exceed my rpm. like what the hell is his fucking problem!!! he was wearing army shirt somemore! makes you think how immature these guys can be. urrghhh!!

np's been on pretty much a lot nowadays. i'm still wondering what i'm doing. dun mind going for parade but for every damn training? its really annoying cuz the cadets aren't really bothering to learn and nobody really seems to care besides the CIs. this is not the way a unit should be running. my frens are telling me to just get a life. hah, wat an irony when i think i probably have more life than many np ppl. but, guess i have to stay. at least for my unit, i have to.

paprade today.. was so disappointed.. i really dunno what else i have to do to get the sec 3s to find the spark. sigh. feels like just giving up but lookin at the state of the unit, i dun think i should. took the sec 1s for lectures and learnt a lesson myself. seems batches are getting smarter and smarter and suddenly it comes to the extent that they mock you throughout the whole lesson. words din work with them. thought of just punishing them to get them to the serious mode, but felt it wouldn't be of any help especially in the first parade. this is so unlike the past where as a sec 1, I was so scared to even look straight at the NCOs. haiz. i guess things change and probably I have to learn to adapt to it. next time, I'm going to start talking to them in the same manner as them, adding abit more wit to it. =P

on a happier note, got my pay today. had to go all the way to kembangan to get it. haiz, then having to hear another round of advices. how i need to decide what i want to do in life, how i want to balance my personal life and career, how i must not try to do a million things, how i must not be so lazy.. and one solution: find myself a boyfren. and i said that its hard to find guys who meet my expectations. ha..yeah rite. but, in a way, sorta got me thinking. sacrifice my personal life for my career or wat. well, i've been pondering over it for ages now and am yet to find an answer. i'm such a confused girl.

so, i better go get another job soon. hopefully can get one soon. hmm..

i know this is wrong. i know i shouldn't be doing this. but sometimes, when just a glimmer of hope lingers, you start wondering. maybe it might happen..

I like,
Where we are,
When we drive,
In your car.
I like,
Where we are;
Here.

Cause our lips,
Can touch,
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Our lips,
Can touch;
Here.


[Chorus]

Where you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.



I like,
Where you sleep,
When you sleep,
Next to me.
I like,
Where you sleep;
Here.


Our lips,
Can touch,
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Cause our lips,
Can touch;
Here.



[Chorus]

Our lips,
Can touch.
Our lips,
Can touch;
Here.



Where you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your...



Where you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers “Hello, I miss you quite terribly.''
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

Here in your arms
Here in your arms

feel a sudden loss now that i've quit my job. yeah, i did.

though i really hated the job because of the whole idea of going around selling tickets, I guess I did appreciate it in some ways. I mean, suddenly having the ability to talk to a total stranger and just exchange friendly smiles, thats a whole new part of me that i discovered. But i suppose doing a sales and direct marketing sort of job isn't my piece of cake. i tried to improve my performance day after day but i just felt like i hit a new low everytime.

went to see big boss to tell him i was going to quit. dun ask me why, but the pressure of the job just made me cry. in fact, this job has made me pms so much that i have pissed off so many of my frens.. big boss said i was having too many negative thoughts in my head and that i was too egoistic. that i had to humble myself in order to learn. i sorta have to agree with him on the last part abt being egoistic. its my charcter, it has always been such and to suddenly change is way too drastic for me. also, having a bit of ego helps me maintain my dignity. but, i suppose i do have to learn to be more humble. i'll leave this whole topic on humbleness for another day cuz i have quite a bit to say abt that.

big boss told me to try just one more week, but i seriously had had enough. i mean, i was the girl who wanted to quit after day 1 but was convinced to stay for a week. friday was my last working day. by then, i had no more passion, no motivation, no desire. i was simply like a piece of log wandering around aimlessly to sell the tix. dismal perfomance to end my career there but what the heck. i did feel slightly guilty but i had already passed my satuaration limit. JE asked if i wanted to work on sat only so maybe at least make some cash. but i just din have any juice left(if you dun get what i mean, its ok ).. so quit totally instead of changing to part time or anything else.

i kinda feel very sad because the ppl there were really really great. its hard to find ppl who could be so friendly and helpful. they dun really backstab or judge. was like a big happy family. so, its a bit sad to see that all these have to come to an end now that the job is gone. gonna miss JE, she was like my sister-in-crime. Dawn, simply cuz she was an extremely wonderful trainer and a great fren. SM, the uncle killer with overflowing cuteness. yup, everyone else too.. too many to name..=)

so what lies ahead for me? I'm not sure myself. should try finding another job, at least to support myself for the next few months.

work sucks. i hate my job and i feel like just quitting. thing is, i still wan some cash. so, until i get a proper income, i have to continue doing this. actually, i'm right now working at some marketing and advertising company. sounds fun rite. truth is, its just bullshit beneath all the glam. 6 days of work for a miserly pay. fuck, why am i wasting my life like that.

got a call for a tuition offer. at a tuition centre. thats like pretty cool thinking only teachers teach in tuition centres. went for some interview today. hope i get this job, then at least i can do the other one part time.

ha, just a note abt the job i'm doing right now. its quite interesting, suddenly being able to talk to just abt anyone one the streets. but most of the ppl who help me seem to be the young guys. kinda funny cuz some like just help when i smile at them, even though my pitching was super crap. i mean, its harder to concentrate on pitching properly when a cute guy is standing right in front of you, looking into your eyes. worst still, when they are shirtless. haha.. aiy! if only i could just stop working at that min and keep talking to the guy. ah, i really wish!!=D

people, as in colleagues are all pretty nice too.. all either my age or younger. somehow, i seem to be able to connect with almost everyone. i've always thought that is an impossible task. hah, somehow, work is made slightly better with them. doing cheers and having team nights.. quite cool..

their putting sweet november on channel 5 right now. i dun wan to watch it fully cuz i'll start crying for sure. very much cliche, but so wat! its still super sweet. catch it if u haven't!

yay! i got a job. ok, shall not comment on it first. see how it goes..

Ooh

Ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh



From the minute that you got my attention

I was taken and I have to mention

I was trying not to let it show

But I knew that I wasn't gonna let you go

From the way that you came right to me

Looking all hot with the style that threw me

No one would've ever known it

You would be the one who take this heart and hold it



You got that extraordinary way

Got to be next to ya every single day

You do something that I just can't explain

Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me



Boy, I love you so

Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

Yeah

Do you know it

Boy, I love you so

Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

I just want you to know



You can say anything you want to

No stress 'cause I understand you

We got a vibe you can't define

Want everyone know that boy is mine

We won't fight and stop and stare at the way you hold me

You take me there at times

I feel I lose control

Forget everyone but the hand I'm holding



You got that extraordinary way

Got to be next to ya every single day

You do something that I just can't explain

Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me



Boy, I love you so

Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

Yeah

Can you feel it

Boy, I love you so

Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

I just want you to know



Please know this

I'll always be right here

And you don't have to look

Nowhere else babe

Don't think for a minute

This love will change

Oh you should know that



Boy, I love you so

Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

Yeah

Can you feel it

Boy, I love you so

Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

I just want you to know



Boy, I love you so

Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

Yeah

Can you feel it

Boy, I love you so

Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go

I just want you to know

had to get quite a few things done these few days. a string of bad luck as well. not going to talk abt it.

but yeah, i'm having loads of stuff to do in NP right now. beginning of year and so need to get alot of planning done. major revamp to take place soon. kinda excited to see how the unit is going to react to the changes. years of the CIs trying to do something and at last, we have reached a decent understanding with officers and the school. i hope the school cooperates on the long run. we'll have to wait and see..

now, i'm really disturbed. is wentworth miller gay?? it kinda would seem like it since hot guys are often gay. but if this is true, it will be a serious blow to all females worldwide. you see a guy on tv who is sooo bloody hot and guess wat, he's GAY! and that would mean, u cannot dream abt him because there will be no hope of him sleeping beside you when you wake up the next morning!(even if it is a dream!!!) Arrgh!!

so, girls, dun deprive that hottie who's smiling at you from the corner of the bar. just hook up and make out!! because at least then, he wouldn't develop gay tendencies... you can feel proud and saving the man for another girl..







ps. my moral values have not deserted me, though this entry quite makes it look like it. you can choose to disagree, but i don't care!

pretty frustrated right now. tried applying for jobs but it just starts becoming more and more disturbing as I browse through job listings. I see this phrase more than any other phrase: Bilingual in English and Chinese. Its really starting to annoy me. Even though the problem has been here like forever, I think not much is being done about it. I totally understand why such a preference would be required, esp in the case where communication with the older generation would be concerned. So, I'm not talking abt jobs such as customer service and human resource at the very least. However, I don't understand why a data entry clerk in MNCs would require that! or an admin asst. in a bank. Aren't they all supposed to be fuckin educated!!! The only firms that do employ without such restrictions are the usually more established ones.

I've managed to live without discrimination for the major part of my life. well, its mostly because schools i went to were like that. though i was fuckin bullied in st.marg's, it was because of me, my personality and not because i'm indian! in ac, everybody was racist, well racist to practically everyone else including themselves. so, we shit off each other and laugh about it but no hard feelings at the end of the day.

but i'm no idiot. i noe that the world out there isn't like ac or st.marg's. just going home everyday after school gives me a good picture of what i am to face in the near future. Young heartlanders. Its really hard to find ppl who speak english on a regular basis. i noe its because of their culture and the way they were brought up. But at some point, I believe they should understand that the world doesn't only constitute of chinese and that they should fucking learn how to speak good english. sometimes, i think its the govt's fault. Why the heck do we need the Speak Mandarin Campaign when all i hear is chinese when i'm out of school! the only ppl who need such campaigns are the ACS boys. and i can totally understand why. Maybe getting students and teachers to start speaking english in neighbourhood schools might actually work better than that Speak Good English Campaign.

i'm glad i went to ac.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i'm happy. i know, kind of a big diff from the last time when i was nearly dead bottom. but, yeah, managed to get most of my work done. banners finished by tmr, i managed to design the souvenir and lsb's response was most satisfactory (wat a BIG surprise!!!)=D and tried to find more inspiration! okay, haven't really found the right inspiration but i'm definitely getting somewhere. maybe i should consider a career in design. or maybe advertising! hmm..

been thinking abt my future lately. all the girl talk and stuff.. it makes me sooo scared to think of what i might become in 10 years. well, i could be
1) happily married to a awfully sweet and charming man
2) a big time career women who practically loves her office
3) a happy but unsuccessful women with a daily 9 to 5 job

well, there are actually many other possibilities.. but i'm just too lazy to bother writing them down. but seriously, this is not a good sign. i dun have any idea wat i might do next! i mean, i know what i feel like doing but my minds just so fickle at times. and the choice between a family or a career. man, this sucks.

and so, in 20 years time, i could be either
a) a still happily married women with no kids( cuz i dun wan any!) but a still totally gorgeous husband
OR
b)a depressed and lonely women who has been left on the shelves for sooo long that she only has her cats for company

ha. the second one will be totally hilarious actually. but pretty sad.=( and so, wat will miss praveena naidu be in the future? guess we just have to wait and see.

i'm dying. things around me are becoming too overwhelming.

*need strength

just did an EQ test but suddenly the whole thing went blank. basket. wasted so much time for nothing. and yes, i'm buying lacy panties tomorrow!! YAY!!!




Something About You

I could talk to you for days
YOu make me laugh one thousand ways
Not realising (you for me)
Like hot water (and my tea cup)

I'm enchanted by your smile
I must admit took a while
For me to see that (this was something)
More than (he's my friend, it's nothing)

I hope to God, you feel the way I feel
Cause this could be amazing
Something so super real

There's something about you
And you don't even know it
I'm telling you know that you got me good
There's something about you
And I can't help but show it
Damn it you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm home, I've gotta let you know
You got me good

Your style your voive your pints of view
The good the bad and ugly too
Boy I'll take it (give it to me)
I'll be careful (give it to me)

Addiction don't dome close to this
Official is what this sh- is
Still I can't say
No I can't say that (I'm in love)

I hope to God, you feel the way I feel
Cause this could be amazing
Something so super real

There's something about you
And you don't even know it
I'm telling you know that you got me good
There's something about you
And I can't help but show it
Damn it you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm home, I've gotta let you know
You got me good

I just wanna
Be your all and all
I just wanna be the one to make you fall
I wanna take you away
I want you to be with me
I want you here with me forever
Be my holliday

Let me take you away
There's something about you

There's something about you
And you don't even know it
I'm telling you know that you got me good
There's something about you
And I can't help but show it
Damn it you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm home, I've gotta let you know
You got me good

You Are Lacy Panties

You're one seductive chica, but you've also got a ton of class. You are like a pinup girl, with timeless beauty and sexiness. Men are afraid to talk to you, knowing they'll be addicted to your charm immediately. Only a true manly man, confident in himself, is your perfect match.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Mean Girl

You rule through teasing and intimidation.. Yet, people would give the world to be your friend

What's Your Reputation?

You Are 61% Bitchy

While you may not think of yourself as the ice queen, admit it, you're often in a bad mood. And it's those around you who often bear the brunt of your annoyance, even if they haven't done anything wrong!

How Bitchy Are You?

You Are Atena!

Wise beyond your years. You're smart and have a great desire to succeed. And with your determination, you'll get your wish. Just make sure to fight your stubborn streak!

What Goddess Are You?

You Are A Little Snobby

And being a little snobby every once and a while is totally allowed. Because if no one was ever snobby, no one would ever try to dress up or look pretty. And while you do enjoy the finest things in life (that you can afford), you tire of superficiality. You know there's more to life than what's just on the surface.

Are You a Snob?

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: Low Fashion Geekiness: Low Gamer Geekiness: Low Geekiness in Love: Low General Geekiness: Low Internet Geekiness: Low Movie Geekiness: Low Music Geekiness: Low SciFi Geekiness: Low

How Geeky Are You?

You Should Rule Mars

Mars is a planet that shines brightly and loops wildly around the solar system. You are perfect to rule Mars, because you are both energetic and independent. Like Mars, you seems attractive and bright to others - but you're difficult to pin down. You are a great thinker, but you only think in the present and ignore the future. Full of enthusiasm and inspiration, you are into your own thing... and rather insensitive to others.

What Planet Should You Rule?

You Are 59% Grown Up, 41% Kid

You've grown up a good bit, but you still have a way to go before you're emotionally mature. You have the skills to control your emotions, you just have to use them.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

Your Birthdate: December 3

You are certain and confident when you choose to love someone. Even though your romantic choices may be unconventional - you stand behind them. Your friends never know you as well as a romantic partner does. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 3 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5 You are most compatible with people born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, and 30th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

You Are a Flawless Beauty!

When it comes to beauty, you spare no expense - and it shows You're the kind of woman a man would launch a thousand ships for It's hard for anyone to beat you in the beauty department But remember, it's okay to show a flaw or too - you've got plenty to spare

What Type of Beauty Are You?

You Were Nice This Year

You Were 30% Naughty, 70% Nice Okay, so you weren't *entirely* nice this year But Santa doesn't expect a modern girl to be perfect You were good enough - and you'll be rewarded for it

How Naughty (Or Nice) Were You This Year?

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Paris Hilton

Who's Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

Fucking fucking porn sites!! i'm getting pissed off right now! they keep popping up..and now there are whole new websites to block. so annoying.. and no, i'm not a sick porn-watcher!

kinda a lot of things i have to do right now.. need to confirm on teaching, think of t-shirt design, banner, orientaion, my date with my babes plus COOKING!!! yeah.. was supposed to cook today, but my parents went to m'sia. so guess, maybe like next week.

i'm think i'm going to get sick. had coffee, a drink and small popcorn chicken for the whole day and i'm still going on fine.. my stomach's being making too much noise...its terrible. well, only consolation is that my stomach's still flat. and i'm admiring it too much in the mirror..kinda freaky actually.

watched "must love dogs". good movie, but no cute guy.

4 days for some family chalet. i was totally sulky at the start.. i mean, what the heck was i supposed to do for 4 fuckin days with them?? some time at the beach and bicycle and playing random games.. but oh well, din turn out too bad in the end.. and i got fed like hell! might have just gained a few kilos. should get back to my running.. sorta getting lazy after exams. with all those partying and stuff..

oh yeah, and prom. was great.. went to harry's for a while after that. forgot my keys, so couldn't stay out too late. and my pics are frustrating.. i should learn to smile properly.. or maybe some photoshop will make the difference..=)

went with jp to apply for teaching in st.margs.. met mr anthony.. damn shocking cuz i really din know what to tell him..just asked me abt a's and stuff.. ha.. he still makes me feel stupid, like always.. damn, when will i learn! the apllication was just this stupid piece of paper. just had to complete it and we were done. so much for thinking we were going to meet the prinicipal and do some interview or whatsoever else.

need to get a nice top.. for et's wedding.. i've thought of the bottoms, but the top i was trying to match it with sort of died. stuff coming out of it.. quite a pity cuz i hadn't used it much. and i need a lot of clothes.. for next year too.. wish i had more cash on hand.. spent everything on clothes, movies and food already. sigh..

on a happier note, i've lost 3 kg!! yay!! yay!! for the first time in 7 years, i weigh less than 50kg. need to reach my target 45. but somehow, i can't see where i lost, considering the fact i'm staring at my body for hours thinking how fat i'll look in a bikini. bikinis are freaking ex anyway.. so, shouldn't even think about it for the time being.

i've been so caught up with enjoying the post exams that i haven't touched this for quite a while.. my com died on me as well.. anyway, exams were okay..anything..whatever.. you get the point.. we'll just wait till march to see wat happens huh..

been out like everyday since exam finished.. cathay on thursday.. joogal's house on friday.. date with my dear babe on sat.. np meeting on sunday.. shopping and doing my hair today.. was supposed to prepare a meal for my family tomorrow.. but a bit lazy lah.. well, i'll leave it to wed maybe..

joogal's house is fucking cool!! 3000 dollars carpets.. wine bar..wine chiller.. his decor was ultra cool.. omg..that is life.. just gives me more reasons why i shouldn't have children.. watched Team America(i know!) and city of god.. the latter was really good.. really touching..especially since it was based on a true story.. the way people are killed as if they are worth nothing seems so cruel and inhumane.. but maybe, its the only way that those kids know how to live.. can we blame them??

CASINO ROYALE is really really good!! daniel craig is hot.period. and the movie was like the best bond movie i've seen in decades. pierce brosnan..well, a pretty boy. craig is real bad ass with the coolness that makes him so likeable..I LOVE DANIEL CRAIG!

did my hair today.. colour and highlight. some copper and reddish brown..looks quite alright.. a bit ex though, since it was at reds.. also bought my prom dress.. i love it! its not typical prom dress but its nice.. a mix of blue and purple..and also my shoes..to match my dress.. ha..i'm sooo happy!=)

my eyes are dying watching prison break.. its freaking good.. 1 whole season in 2 days! but its worth it. i'm hoping desperate housewives season 3 gets back to channel 5.. not that i dun know the story but nothing beats watching it on tv rite.. okay, i'm gonna get back to prison break.. and nip/tuck later!! off to my tvland!=P

TOMORROW'S THE BIG DAY!!!

all that i can give..

just a few days of school left. 2 years went by just like that. better start taking pictures..

din go to school today. din feel like anyway. everything just seems the same. dun see the point in anything. i've never felt so unprepared before. 4 weeks to the day but i'm still wondering wat went wrong. sigh.

on a slightly happier note, i think the guy in evanescence's call me when you're sober video is sooo bloody hot. just looks too good to be true. CHECK HIM OUT!